by Lilian Chen
I hated being alone.
I'm 100% extrovert on Myer-Briggs scale. Throughout the day, I interacted constantly with people around me, and there was nothing I hated more than the feeling when I came home to an empty house.
Is there something wrong with me.
Could it be that I wasn't happy with who I was that I wasn't comfortable being with ONLY myself? Ironically, I thought I liked myself a little too much sometimes, yet I couldn't help but wonder.
During break, I went to SoCal to makeover grandma's house.
Since I love interior design, I was so absorbed in my work. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had spent 3 days essentially alone. In fact, I’d even go as far as admitting that I enjoyed it.
I was shocked. What changed this time?
I was unhappy with something--it wasn't myself but what I did--class, lunch, study, dinner, sleep... I wasn't doing things that made me I forget time and stopped feeling lonely.
when I was alone, I wasn’t just hanging out with myself; I was also hanging out with the activity. And for me to be truly happy, I needed to like both myself and what I did.
I realized I need to do more of what I could enjoy alone.
Those are passions. Although I still prefer companionship over solidarity, I believe that slowly but eventually, I will enjoy spending time alone much more, now that I’ve finally learned how to.