An Extrovert's Journey: How to be Okay with Being Alone
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lilianchenCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  2 years ago
This is a blog post I wrote for SAVONBOX (savonbox.com), a luxury soap startup that I’m working for right now. Instead of writing another beauty/lifestyle post, I decided to write something personal this time. I'd like to share with you one of the most important realizations I've had recently.

An Extrovert's Journey: How to be Okay with Being Alone

by Lilian Chen

I hated being alone.

I'm 100% extrovert on Myer-Briggs scale. Throughout the day, I interacted constantly with people around me, and there was nothing I hated more than the feeling when I came home to an empty house.

Is there something wrong with me.

Could it be that I wasn't happy with who I was that I wasn't comfortable being with ONLY myself? Ironically, I thought I liked myself a little too much sometimes, yet I couldn't help but wonder.

During break, I went to SoCal to makeover grandma's house.

Since I love interior design, I was so absorbed in my work. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had spent 3 days essentially alone. In fact, I’d even go as far as admitting that I enjoyed it.

I was shocked. What changed this time?

I was unhappy with something--it wasn't myself but what I did--class, lunch, study, dinner, sleep... I wasn't doing things that made me I forget time and stopped feeling lonely.

The realization...

when I was alone, I wasn’t just hanging out with myself; I was also hanging out with the activity. And for me to be truly happy, I needed to like both myself and what I did.

I realized I need to do more of what I could enjoy alone.

Those are passions. Although I still prefer companionship over solidarity, I believe that slowly but eventually, I will enjoy spending time alone much more, now that I’ve finally learned how to.

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bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a year agoReply
Being alone and being lonely are vastly different feelings. Excellent read. It is sometimes hard to say, "Hey, I'm alright."

benjSilver CommaStoryteller
2 years agoReply
@lilianchen building furniture?????

lentisSilver CommaIf there's food, there's me
2 years agoReply
As an extrovert myself, always been curious how others feel about online friendships. I find that phone calls and hanging out energize me sometimes when I'm alone as well

2 years agoReply
@benj I've always loved crafting, whether it's sewing, making jewelry, or building furniture. There are numerous occasions when I worked until dawn without realizing that I had forgotten to eat or go to bed. Recently I had a lot of time to explore that I discovered passion in dancing and picked up reading again. I realized that I am truly passionate about something if it passes the "alone test". I'd be lying if I said that I've never gotten tired of being around too many people, but social interaction tends to recharges me.

2 years agoReply
@lisa Yes! I'm glad you asked! The founder of SAVONBOX has very sensitive skin and developed products with very high quality ingredients that are gentle enough be used even on hospital patients suffering from skin diseases. The brand has a heavy emphasis on wellness--not only physical, but emotional wellness as well.

lisaSilver CommaCats
2 years agoReply
This was written for a soap brand? lol

benjSilver CommaStoryteller
2 years agoReply
What kind of activities do you do alone? Do you ever feel tired from being with too many people?

sydneyVerifiedco-creator of Commaful
2 years agoReply
This is particularly interesting because I'm used to seeing posts on the other side. How introverts deal with being in big groups