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lilahgrace31
lilahgrace31Community member
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
you asked if i wanted you to stay i mumbled and rolled over

you asked if i wanted you to stay

i mumbled and rolled over

longing for sleep

that was all i wanted and you had no part in it

but you stayed

you turned me back over

told me you were taking off my pants,

then they were gone.

i lay there still, but you didn’t stop

now i didn’t want to fall under sleep’s healing spell

i needed to.

but you didn’t stop

hickeys

scratches

a theatrical moan and arch in my spine

all but an excruciating facade,

a wail for help and writhing agony

but you hadn’t heard me before

and you didn’t comprehend now

and that was enough for you to be satisfied

i returned my clothing to where it belonged

and sleep snatched me away, where i thought i belonged

but this time she didn’t heal

she pressed pause

and when the sun pressed play again

a new torment rose with me

i lost my trust in the light’s ability to light me

and the night’s ability to refresh

and perhaps the sun stopped trusting me too,

bestowing a dread each morning,

and reminding me of those questions

i knew it best not to ask

like what did i do wrong

what am i doing to make myself hurt so much now

what is enough

and what if i can’t escape the sun’s mistrust now

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