Traces of Who I am By: Lettuce P.
Traces of Who I am
By: Lettuce P. original stories
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lettucep
lettucep Just here to do whatever I feel
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
I made this during when I felt like I was lost and wanted to be found. Writing my emotions into a plain text form helped me understand what I truly feeling and also gave me a way to reevaluate myself properly. Overall, it was my coping method.

Traces of Who I am By: Lettuce P.

The guiding light

The guiding light Led me to darkness

The guiding light Led me to darkness A shadow casted over me like a blanket

The guiding light Led me to darkness A shadow casted over me like a blanket If I stare too hard at the luminous entity,

The guiding light Led me to darkness A shadow casted over me like a blanket If I stare too hard at the luminous entity, I know it will shatter me.

I hate being blinded by this light.

I hate being blinded by this light. Its holiness too gracious that I’m suffocating by its shine.

I hate being blinded by this light. Its holiness too gracious that I’m suffocating by its shine. Too cold has the shade of nightfall has left me.

I hate being blinded by this light. Its holiness too gracious that I’m suffocating by its shine. Too cold has the shade of nightfall has left me. I know it’s meaningless to speak out of it,

I hate being blinded by this light. Its holiness too gracious that I’m suffocating by its shine. Too cold has the shade of nightfall has left me. I know it’s meaningless to speak out of it, But I can’t help but ask for help, for love, for validation.

The mask I threw away only spun around the earth to return on my face.

The mask I threw away only spun around the earth to return on my face. It’s the only thing that can keep my eyes and face safe from that dangerous light.

The mask I threw away only spun around the earth to return on my face. It’s the only thing that can keep my eyes and face safe from that dangerous light. Trembling fingers, deep sighs, I understand why I craved the sun so much.

The mask I threw away only spun around the earth to return on my face. It’s the only thing that can keep my eyes and face safe from that dangerous light. Trembling fingers, deep sighs, I understand why I craved the sun so much. It’s warm. So warm. Warm enough to make me feel alive again.

The mask I threw away only spun around the earth to return on my face. It’s the only thing that can keep my eyes and face safe from that dangerous light. Trembling fingers, deep sighs, I understand why I craved the sun so much. It’s warm. So warm. Warm enough to make me feel alive again. I, who I thought was whole, was sliced apart with the sunset.

The piece became a half, and the halves became fours.

The piece became a half, and the halves became fours. The whole that I was, divided by a mirror, made me see what reality was.

The piece became a half, and the halves became fours. The whole that I was, divided by a mirror, made me see what reality was. I closed my eyes to it.

The piece became a half, and the halves became fours. The whole that I was, divided by a mirror, made me see what reality was. I closed my eyes to it. I became scared and painted the walls to look pretty.

It was no use.

I saw the evil in me ran away.

I saw the evil in me ran away. I wanted it back.

I saw the good in me ran away.

I saw the good in me ran away. I wanted it back.

I wanted all of me back together.

This dreaded mirror gently sliced myself into separate beings.

This dreaded mirror gently sliced myself into separate beings. Being no longer whole, I remained lost, hoping for something to come back.

This dreaded mirror gently sliced myself into separate beings. Being no longer whole, I remained lost, hoping for something to come back. As those parts of me cried on their own, they torn themselves apart.

This dreaded mirror gently sliced myself into separate beings. Being no longer whole, I remained lost, hoping for something to come back. As those parts of me cried on their own, they torn themselves apart. Looking for myself started to plant a strong poison into myself:

This dreaded mirror gently sliced myself into separate beings. Being no longer whole, I remained lost, hoping for something to come back. As those parts of me cried on their own, they torn themselves apart. Looking for myself started to plant a strong poison into myself: Depression

I was happy.

I was happy. I was sad.

I was happy. I was sad. Then it became nothing.

I was happy. I was sad. Then it became nothing. A single line split into multiple traces.

I was happy. I was sad. Then it became nothing. A single line split into multiple traces. The ties construct who I was and caused me to bleed internally.

I won’t forgive myself for craving solitude.

Fingers

Typing

Ever

So

Slowly.

If it was going to be like this, I should have saved some light

If it was going to be like this, I should have saved some light To force myself to wake up and pull the strings back together.

I rely too much on people that it’s laughable.

Maybe in the flashes of photographs, I will look happy again.

But I know the end was daunting on me…

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