Humans often wonder about death
My brain twist and turn around without rest
I dance with that mysterious lady
Especially on those nights when my emotions are crazy
But I often wonder what comes after the end
That night is where my journey began
On many a night I go for a run
Night is my calling, never liked the sun
This night in particular I gasped for breath after I was done
I looked up to see a black mask, black gloves, and a black gun
No sounds reached my ears as I fell
He shifted through my pockets and left me bleeding on that trail
Darkness cascaded my vision as I laid there dying
Until the light overtook my vision that was so blinding
Pulled to my feet I stand before an ominous presence
I look into the beyond and see clouds with many residents
A whispering voice calls out my name
It's at this moment I realize the bullet has left me no pain
A single light floats before me and I stand with confusion
"Are...you god?" I ask trying to see through this allusion
"You are correct." the light responds to me
Whatever I thought I was prepared for, it's clear i'm not ready
I say "You have no color, no body, no face."
It responds "And what sense would it make for god to be a certain race?"
"Is this my judgement day?" But I already know the answer
And fear strikes through my body like that of a lancer
If this is judgement...maybe I'm meant to go to hell!
I cry out "I've lived as good as I can. As a decent human I have not failed!"
But my mind searches through all my flaws and shortcomings
Through all the stubbornness and bad habits long running
And the fear grips my being making my stomach turning
I can imagine the flames of hell licking my feet, making my body burning
"Have you truly done your best? Can you say that for a fact?
Do not lie before me, swayed by where we are at.
I've known you your whole life child, it's crucial you remember that
Access yourself truly, cause I've watched back and sat
And I know of the light of your soul, but also the black."
I swallowed hard, cause I know it's do or die
Being judged is never easy, but I can't give up, I gotta try
"I'm not big on religion, I never deal with worship
Never felt comfortable kneeling before altars and sitting in churches
I couldn't recite you a psalm or tell you any verses
And maybe because of that a religious person might deem me as worthless."
In light of all that maybe I sound like a lost cause
But I know I've done some good and it makes me want to show more than my flaws
"But I try to see the best in people, and it's not always easy
Some people have crossed me and showed themselves as sleazy
I do my best to forgive and forget even when it makes me uneasy
And the feelings of regret are enough to make me queasy
'Who am I to judge?' I ask myself?
A dirt broke kid with little faith in himself."
The light stands before and bask us in utter silence
As I stare into it I don't feel a sense of triumph
"Do you remember that time you stole money from your brother?"
I gasp a little "A mistake when I was younger, surely from my flaws there are others!"
"When you physically struck that kid in school?"
I grit my teeth "He hit me first, what was I to do?"
I stare back defiantly "Is that all you have for me?
Guilt trips about trivial deeds?
I've done much worse in life and I think we can agree
Why bring up the time I pushed a kid and scraped his knee?
Why focus on my laziness when it came to work?
Why focus on the little people I've hurt?
If these are the worst things I've ever done
Don't you think I deserve a place in your kingdom come?"
The light laughs a little and I feel kind of silly?
Questioning god? Where do i get off really?
"Humans in their lives will make many mistakes
Some of which can make their hearts ache
But by only focusing on those, and leaving out the small ones
We build up an arrogance that rarely can be undone
You will slip up and life and sometimes mess up big
But it's how you respond to the little things that determine how you live
People should always strive to grow and become better
Give that person a compliment, show compassion to an enemy, don't just ignore that beggar
Do not become complacent because 'you're not that bad'
Improve yourself and others around like a true comrade."
In less than a few minutes I've become humbled
In my way of thinking it's clear that I've stumbled
A block in my growing has made me troubled
And my immaturity has kept my progression locked in a bubble
I nod my head, agreeing with the entity
I wish I had found more time to find my true identity
"I care not if you pray every night before bed
I care that you want to be your best before you are dead
I care not that you are perfect
I care that you know in your heart that you are worth it
You might think that this right now is the end
But it's a new chapter in your life to begin
Because life happens to work in mysterious ways
Remember this brief stop to the end of your days!
Judgement will find you again so live your life
Live with a purpose, do not become consumed with strife!
My vision starts to blur, and my eyes fall heavy
Darkness overtakes me again, and I feel unready
Is everything over? Is my life considered done?
I get my answer when the air refills in my lungs
A second chance at life? Am I really so lucky?
The feeling in my head leaves everything mucky
Glancing around the hospital, I make myself a deal
Live with a purpose, no matter if that was a dream, or it was real