Breathing Techniques don't work.
Well, maybe they do, sometimes, but it wears off like a band-aid in the shower
Washes down the sink as I think of every terrifying thing that could possibly happen
Breathing techniques are impossible to do...
when I can't breathe at all
Can't direct my thoughts on anything except how strangely fast my heart is beating, and am I having heart attack, and is this what it's like to die,
and are these ruminating thoughts my final thoughts I will ever have?
Breathing techniques are suggested by everyone
From the nosy but trying to be helpful friend to the professional with their diplomas draped on their walls, letting you know you are in fact in good hands,
hands that only accept certain credit cards, but anyway...
Every one says just breathe!
I've heard 8-4-7, or maybe it's 4-7-8, or maybe 3-12-6, or how about alternate nostril breathing
Breathe into your diaphragm, exhale negative energy
Well, if I exhaled negative energy my soul would spill out my mouth and there would be nothing left but a pile of dusty bones, worn from years of cortisol bursting through my veins,
a jaw permanently clenched
And they might say, well, but she was so young!
Here's the thing, anxiety has always been my existence from earliest memory, and if I could breathe it away I would, I would do whatever combination of breath cures me
And, yes, maybe sometimes it helps, a little, I'll give it that. But it's not enough, will you give me that?
It comes up short when I'm too busy hyperventilating
And all you can say is just...