Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
She ran and she ran
Until she dropped down dead.
Poor Little Miss Muffet
Should've eaten broccoli instead.
Older Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Drinking a full glass of malt.
Along came a spider who slid right inside her
She never survived that assault.
Her grave is unknown
She had no one for fun.
There's none left that wonder
Why she would never run.
Dying Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating the last piece of bread.
Along came a spider who stood right behind her
And took everything but a thread.
She can't see, she can't hear
She can no longer breathe.
Poor, lonely Miss Muffet
Is now evermore down beneath.