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lalalabutterfly
lalalabutterflyHopelessly lost but forever hopeful.
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
There's a woman I know who can cut through my core. >>This is something I wrote about six months ago, about my abusive relationship with my mother. Could be triggering for people who have suffered abuse.<<

2 AM

There's a woman I know who can cut through my core

Knows all of my faults and can always keep score

She tears up my life like it's all toilet paper

She's got me much more scared than meeting my maker

It's not like she hides what she's doing to me

It's plain to the world, I'll never be free

She winces in pain seeing what I'm becoming

And even her silence can make me come running

The terror I feel when she comes around

Is enough that I cower, can't utter a sound

My heart won't stop racing, my body just freezes

My mind just stops working, says only what pleases

She talks me in circles, I lose my own name

Takes root in my logic and stakes her own claim

For hours she'll tell me how wrong I can be

If she can't stand kids then why did she have three?

I'm old enough now that I should be my own

She has no more right to her hatred-forged throne

But I'm told that I'm no longer inside her cage

Abuse doesn't happen to those of my age

I'm free to just go and to choose my own life

Just run off and be happy and marry my wife

But fear isn't only for children and spouses

There's lots going on in these abnormal houses

I'm tied on the edge, kept eternally waiting

For more from a mother eternally taunting

It's all grey enough that I could be persuaded

It's all in my head, it's not her that is jaded

I'm told all the time, this behaviour is normal

For parents whose children are hard or immoral

But why then is love such a foreign ideal

For people like me, forging barriers of steel?

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