Tw: Dysphoria, descriptions of AFAB body in a non-sexual way (and a sexual way, at the rape mention, but it’s vague), mentions of a rape that actually happened
My eyes look down upon myself as if I were a different person: not a single inch of skin is ME.
Chest rounded where it should be flat, faint red scars hidden away from sight on my thighs Everything about it is WRONG, wrong, wrong.
I hear his voice again, I’m back in the cardboard fort Just an innocent kid “C’mon, lemme see!” He whines. My heart thumps hard as I pull down my underwear, thumps as he slides his fingers in. He was my best friend, my hero.
I’m a rusty padlock, a shell Not a girl, not a girl
Not a single person knows how hard it is to ignore every single voice every single day and night... Every second Never stopping Always with you
And that’s my life
And that’s my pain
And these are my secrets
I slide my pajama shirt over the last inch of my skin, The voices screaming at me, Never good enough Always a girl Never thin enough Always a girl Never strong enough Always, and forever, a little girl at the mercy of her neighbor in a cardboard fort And always...