Better to light a match than to keep cursing the Darkness - Anonymous
I was dancing on flames
A phoenix rising out of the fire
Out of a fire that destroyed instead of created
Out of a fire that burned rather than warmed.
The tantalising smell of rain caressing the ground played with my senses
The playful beat of the raindrops was Beethoven's Symphony
I was water falling from the sky
Water dripping down bodies
But while they cooled I sizzled
While they sighed I turned to vapour
I was the essence of spring flowers
Of flowers that grew with a plethora of colours
Submerged in natures' warmth
Drowning in my own happiness
But then why was I picked?
Why was I brutally ripped from my source of love
To celebrate the love of someone else
Why was I burnt in the fire?
Why was I the one who was turned to vapour?
Why was I the one who was ripped apart?
Why am I the one who always gets hurt?
Such daggers aim for my body.
My heart. My soul.
Avoiding them till my breath became air
Running from them till the land became the sky
Till I became air
Floating out of grasp
Slipping through clutches
But these words didn't follow any of these norms
They commanded my soul
"Thou shalt run no more"
And just like that my soul came to a jarring stop
My journey came to a shocking end.
I closed my eyes not wanting to see death approach
My eyelashes ,from unsaid dreams, weeping
My skin, from unspent emotions, crying
I could feel death approaching
Crawling from behind as the daggers rushed towards me
The wind singing as they cut through everything
Ravaging even time in its path
Each one hitting its target
Leaving me physically whole but mentally deranged
I, a lunatic wandering from shore to shore in search of my own
Going through ships to find my own anchor
Breaking people's hearts so that I could find my own
My own life. My own essence. My own guilt.
I lay, awaiting the end, on the shore
Knowing that no wave could distance me further then I already was
No wave could drench me more then my tears had
No scent would wake me up from the sleep that I was in
And as I lay I saw the bride sneak a flower from her bouquet
The same flower that had been ripped away from its love
Was now the embodiment of love for someone
I saw the man sigh in relief as the water soothed his burns
The water that once was a mere drop out of many
Was the water that had made him smile
The water that would have peacefully joined the crowd in the ocean
Had now gone through pain and removed the pain of another
And as I saw this the clouds moved away from the sun
Melting like cotton candy in a child's mouth
That day as I relished the feeling of putting a smile on someone's face
The sounds around me were multiplied by infinity
And as I walked back home I realised that sometimes
It is better to be the one loosing then gaining
Loosing wilted leaves
Loosing chains that would have become your noose
And loosing the parts of you that would have never caused you happiness
At the end of the day it isn't about turning a new leaf
It isn't about rising from the flames
In the end it is about holding onto your essence
Deciding what to keep and what to change
Deciding whether to leap or to fall
At the end it is just about turning From Vapour To Rain