It's my second time here
The clock is ticking on the wall She stares at me from her chair right across from mine Waiting Tapping her pencil softly against the pad in her hands
The time elapses, silently
She hops up from her chair "I'm going to need to talk to your mom before you leave"
My mother is flipping through the frayed pages of her book
Her glasses resting low on the bridge of her nose I don't want to disturb her But the woman goes to her And my mother puts her bookmark in her place The woman and my mother exchange looks
It's the looks they've been giving since this started
Since I started coming here Sitting silently As the clock ticks its hollow noise into the empty space between us, the woman and I
I look down at my feet
The woman stands there in silence as my mother lifts herself from her chair "How is she?" The looks starts again Where their eyebrows furrow My mother worries her lip
"We're going to have to get some tests done, I'm afraid"
I am afraid too Why has nobody asked me if I am afraid I am so afraid
My mother looks at me, disappointment brewing
"It's chemical," the woman explains "It's genetic" My mother pales The world is quiet and still
"We'll see what we can do"
My mother replies As she packs her book into her purse Slowly Methodically, like she doesn't know how the world works anymore
I don't really know either
I don't know if I ever did