I'm a lot to handle, I try my best to be good, the whispers in my head, beg to be understood, Are you bored with me? Have you found someone new? Are you tired of the flash fires?
All I can do is think, and think, and think, until I fall down into the rabbit hole, and I'm lost in a sea of misery and self doubt.
Believe me, it would be nice to not constantly be drowning in the ocean of emotions, I feel too much or not at all, but it's you who takes the fall.
I can't help it, I'm too black and white, I've never learned gray.
Words spill like flash floods out of my mouth, and before I know, I have everything on the line, and I see red, the air thick with dread, when I'm like this, a part of me is dead.
She fights so hard for me to be dead, to not feel, to not care, to not be there at all, and sometimes she wins, and she spins these elaborate lies, like catching flies in a web,
to watch me get in over my head, I can't live with out you, she tries to push you away, afraid of intimacy, not the kind where you take of your pants, but where you take off your mask,
and that's a whole different kind of naked, and I can't fake it, I'm afraid you'll break at the sight of me, left unsatisfied, you'll see you're wasting your time.
It sounds trivial, I know, but there's no one else but you, and if you don't want me, no one else will do.
You have me, I'm afraid you'll only have parts of me, there're parts of me she holds ransom, I can't leave it behind, I'm not sure how to give you myself if she won't let me go.