There it goes, like a flick of the wrist, like a blink of an eye, like a drop of a pen;
There it goes and here it comes, here it comes…the hard heart beats and the loss night’s sleep, but neither of those qualify for good enough excuses for the list of things I cant do.
I cannot get out of bed today. I can’t get in my car.I can’t come to work today, or tomorrow or maybe for the next month. I can’t come to class. I can’t get an A.
I can’t take the test in that amount of time, I say. I can’t talk to you. Jesus, I cannot stop talking.
I can’t make that phone call, I can’t order my food. I can’t make eye contact for more than three seconds without looking down at the ground because I feel uncomfortable.
It feels like constant crying, shaking, thinking, worrying. Uncomfortable is never being able to slow down, *just slow down, please slow down*
But, don’t you worry, they will give me a handful of prescription medication under the table and tell me to take them with every meal.
Like I am feeding on some industry and magic beans to help fix me.
No dosage, shape, size, or color of any medication will help carry the weight of me. Because,although my body is made of water, I carry much more than the ocean waves.
I’m trying to make myself believe that Jesus walked on water so humans can too, but humans cannot walk on water. So, instead, I continue to drown.
And there it goes,
Like the pull of the tide, like the set of the sun, like the burn I will feel tomorrow and for the restof my life.
There it goes and here it comes....here it comes