But then I see your smile.
I see how happy you are with how you live your life. That’s when I hold myself back.
I cannot forgive myself if my suffering drags you down. I don’t want to poison your mind with thoughts of me living in the dark.
I still want to be there for you to listen to your countless adventures. I want to hear you laugh even when I could hardly force a smile.
And this is why I will keep this from you. I’m sorry.
I will hide the tears. I will own this pain.