Wrestling ring of thoughts
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kassaundrachur1
kassaundrachur1 Hurt has a Heart in the form of words.
Autoplay OFF   •   10 months ago
I go through my days Sometimes they seem unfazed
Struggling a bit to stay strong tonight, so I got to writing and wrote this

Wrestling ring of thoughts

I go through my days

Sometimes they seem unfazed

Unfazed by the pain in my life

Unfazed by the feeling of disgust

But then I look at the date December 15

And it only takes but a few seconds to realize

It has been 2 months since my rape

I feel like there's no reason and no purpose for my soul to live

Cause now I'm damaged forever

All I can seem to see are the bloodstains

The scars on my arms from the pain in my heart

Feels like the hurt and I will never part

Some days seem like there's no hope

The thoughts to grab the blade won't go away

Maybe they are here to stay?

Maybe the blade is the way to no pain

Even if not forever

Even if for just a little bit

It may make an indent on my pain of the present

But is it really worth the pain it will cause in the future?

Will, it really be worth it, suture after suture a dent in my future

A dent in my future, a scar that is forever

A scar that will change my interview demeanor

A scar that will change my life

Is it really worth it?

Are a few seconds of relief worth the pain of regretful grief?

Can I fight these urges? Am I strong enough to go another round?

I have fought this fight for years, lost some and won some

Do I have it in me? Another round to fight?

Do I have it in me for the fight of my life?

The energy the fight takes is worth the benefit it will make

The strife may seem large but bigger is my longing for life

I can fight another fight

I want a better life!

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