I was a little girl full of life
I loved playing with chalk and jump rope
I had not a care in the world.
My mom always said “ don't talk to strangers“
So I didnt
I stuck with only speaking to my family and friends
But mommy never told me family can hurt me too
I met him one day he was my uncle!
He wore a funny cowboy hat that was brown and old
I smelt the alcohol and cigarettes on him
I didn't process those smells until later on.
I remember his truck was a shiny red I liked it
He was family so I thought it was okay to interact with him
He wasn't a stranger so it was okay i wouldn't get hurt
At least that's what my eleven year old mind thought
I remember catching fish at the bay and making steaks for dinner they were so juicy I loved it. But then it was bedtime so I had an amazing idea to have a sleepover with uncle..
My mom said yes I jumped for joy
I got into my pajamas and we all curled up in the back of his red shiny pickup truck
I quickly fell asleep exhausted from an incredible day
But I randomly woke up in the middle of the night I felt something unfamiliar
I looked down and uncles hand was Inside me
I froze in fear and didn't know what to do or say
He didn't realize I was awake
I suddenly felt bigger than his hand inside me
As he slowly put his big hairy dry penis inside me
A tear rolled down my face realizing it isn't only strangers that can hurt you
He eventually realized I woke up the entire time I was thinking of how to escape
I spoke and said “I'm cold and I have to use the bathroom “ I remember uttering those words like it was yesterday they will forever be ingrained into my mind
I stepped out of the truck onto the sharp dirt and I ran inside .
I bolted to the bathroom and couldn't stop the river of tears
I grabbed my aunts phone and called my mom
She couldn't believe the words I was speaking. She rushed over to my grandpa's house where I was staying
I was crying curled up in a corner fearful that he would come looking for me
My mom came and brought me to the police .
I didn't have any clue what “virginity” was until I was shunned by some people for “losing mine" I was so confused
I blamed myself. Until I realized I had no choice
I didn't have a choice for him to put his penis inside me
I had no say in losing something I had no clue was so sacred
I had no choice. I was never given a choice
I wrote this in order to raise awareness and be an advocate for whoever is going through this. October 1st 2018 was 1 year since he got out of prison and I want everyone to know that if you are being sexually assaulted please please please SPEAK UP if needed i will stand by your side throughout the entire process and i guarantee that YOU will come out stronger NOT HIM/HER
As always my messages are ALWAYS OPEN i have been through many struggles in my life and I would like to believe the reason for those struggles is to help others going through them now or previously like i have and am . Together nothing is impossible so, as scary as it may be PLEASE SPEAK UP be the voice for that little girl getting assaulted everyday and her future please, im begging you speak up you WONT regret it.