Rodney shifted about in his seat, finding the most comfortable position for listening to what he thinks will be an elongated explanation.
He gestured to the journal, and said, "You have the floor." "Hmm..." Nicholas was thinking, "Okay, I know a good starting point." Thus, the journal began.
"I want you to think back to all the times you were assigned or chose to write about yourself in general, and about the topics you were introduced to.
Most of the time you were writing upon sheets of printed or blank paper with a pencil, or you were provided with a computer to type your works.
For as long as I can remember you are not the type to openly express yourself as well as whatever it was you were working on at the time; however,
what you lack in verbal communication you make up for in literary techniques.
When it comes down to deep thought and analysis on the things that truly matter, you're able to view the world and its inhabitants through a lens that's rarely utilized by the typical civilian.
You're not afraid to state an educated point or opinion, allowing you to stay truthful to yourself even when such a luxury may be prohibited at times.
You're a writer, and you stick to it through and through.
So, how does it all relate to me? Well, allow me to put it this way: You have severed a crucial piece of yourself that is doing all it can to remain by your side no matter the circumstances.
At times you will temporarily reconnect this piece when it's a good day, at least when you're feeling okay; unfortunately,
this doesn't prevent you from tearing it out and pushing it as far away from you as possible, developing this unhealthy cycle of self-deprivation.
However, as desperation and a little luck would have it, you haven't entirely rid yourself of this piece, this very human piece.
As a matter of fact, you have the strength to confront the piece you have been refusing up until this point."
Rodney, having listened to every detail, acknowledged everything Nicholas has said was right.
He is not a very outgoing person and prefers to keep things to himself unless having to share his feelings, thoughts, and opinions otherwise.
And Nicholas' statement about severing a crucial piece, Rodney painfully admitted to himself that it is the case.
He would constantly think to himself, think about some of the bad things he had done in life, and felt that he did not deserve to be the happy-go-lucky person whom he once was,
shutting himself out as well as those who know him. Rodney then turned his focus back onto Nicholas, and asked the million-dollar question, "How do you know so much about me?"
"Because I've always been with you, that's how."
Rodney let out a small gasp, now realizing the revelation that had been laid out before him. "Then, that's what you actually are." He said, "You're the piece that I threw out...
the piece that I've been missing for so long..." Nicholas gave a somber chuckle, and joked, "Surprise.
Now do you understand?" Rodney covered his face and began to sob, overwhelmed with so much emotion that he could no longer keep it all held inside. "Happiness, my dear friend.
" Nicholas said, "No one is exempt from a beneficial concept that is the primary driving force for all that we aim to be.
Just because you've done some wrong here and there doesn't mean that you have to be stripped of something that makes you, you. You deserve to have joy. You deserve to have fun.
You deserve your friends and family. You deserve all that you have worked for."
"But..." Rodney asked, "how can I make up for the times that I'd been hostile and rude towards those who offered their help? I'm sure they don't hold me in much regard.
" "If they didn't, then why do they stick around?" Rodney fell silent, wiping away the tears from his face.
"It's true that they dislike you refusing help when it's much needed; however, they also understand what you're going through and don't want to give up on you." "Yeah... you're right."
"Do you need help?"
"Do you want help?"
"Then, I want you to pick me up with just one hand, one more time."
Rodney did as he was instructed, holding the journal gently but securely. "I want you to close your eyes, and imagine that I'm slowing disappearing until I'm completely gone.
" This shocked Rodney, prompting him to ask, "Wait, I thought you were going to help me?" "I need you to not worry," Nicholas reassured, "and I need you to trust me, too.
" "But what's disappearing going to accomplish?" "Rodney, just trust me, okay?" Rodney tightened his grip on the journal slightly, unsure if everything was going to work out after all.
He knew, however, that, to him, he had to take the chance. A single tear had run down his face upon closing his eyes, and he softly spoke, "Don't leave me..."
"You'll be okay. I promise."
Thirty seconds had passed. Then forty-five seconds. Then a minute. A minute and a half. Finally, two minutes had passed. Rodney reopened his eyes, and noticed that his hand was now empty.
He balled up his hand tightly, and thought, what now? What will happen next? He laid his head down on the desk and continued to think.
Today was supposed to be just another day; but, with all that had occurred, it simply could not be called that. Rather, it was a strange day.
He pulled himself up and gazed out the window. The bright yellow-orange hue of the sun's rays shone brilliantly through the glass and onto the gray carpet.
Rodney stood and walked over to the window to get a better look.
The weather was clear with a pale blue sky, there was a gentle breeze blowing through the plants and trees that glimmered with green,
and the horizon burned fiercely along the peaks of the mountains. It really is beautiful, isn't it?" Rodney quietly said to himself.
Suddenly, he was feeling far better, not only for how he can traverse the world with a newly opened mind, but for himself as well.
Rodney smiled and laughed a little, feeling as though he had been revived from a deep slumber.
"I'll be okay."