genius humility
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joyouscellyjcIn love with poetry
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
this is by far one of the most complex poems i have written.Two cheers to anyone who can comprehend what i was trying to convey ;)

genius humility

by joyouscellyjc

I look out the window sill

I feel it in my veins

I keep going but still

I never reach the end of the lanes

the soft caress of my mothers warm palm

I shall never forget in my soul

these truths that I hold ,like the calm

before the storm rolls

my pen so smooth and swift ,gliding over the crumpled paper

my heart in a mighty lift, gets lifted into a vapour

until I reach far beyond the surface and into the depths

of my soul

I surrender ,I surrender to this form of self discovery

I still try to grasp the idea that like tender dew

slips between my fingers

that like the loose end of a brocade worn by a woman

at the sea, the pale blue mantle

now will you say I am a genius ?

if you shall,I shall not,I shall not

i shall deny

you know why?

for the sake of humility , my dear...

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joyouscellyjcIn love with poetry
a year agoReply
@bernardtwindwil ah Yes that came to my mind too. I think I'll gladly take that advice. I did give this one a rougher edge though because I had to weave a certain complexity of ideas , changing the direction of the poem after a while. I'll keep that point mind though. Thank you for taking out thetime to read :) your comments bring a smile to my face.

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a year agoReply
Yes, it is complex. It was excellent in the evocation of sympathetic response. If I may be so bold, being a slow old man, to suggest that you work on some of the transitions to smooth them out a bit. Don't change directions or innuendo. The written verse is excellent. With smoother transitions between verses, this could be a classic.