First night: 10pm -take a shower. shave it all, you don’t want him knowing how hairy you actually are. 10:30 pm -get out of the shower, you don’t want him thinking you’ll always take too long.
10:35pm-rub on a really nice smelling lotion. Don’t forget to braid your hair so you don’t look like a lion the next morning. Brush your teeth. Do your face routine, you want him to know you care about your skin. 10:42pm- wear your sexiest pjs to bed
10:47 pm- get in bed. Lay as gently as possible. Keep your chin up, you don’t want him seeing your double chin. 11:10 pm- he wants to spoon . Suck in your stomach , he can not know you have a belly.
11:45 pm - keep spooning, even though your leg is asleep, your knees hurt and his belly is making your back sweat. 12:03am- don’t fall asleep, you might snore
1:06 am- oh gosh! Why did you eat that cheesy quesadilla, you shouldn’t have! Please don’t fart! PLEASE DON’T FART!! 3:36 am- *wakes up scared * oh no ! Was I snoring ?!? Did I fart?!
8:00 am - *him: “good morning gorgeous, how did you sleep?” “Like a baby, I love sharing a bed with you”
Night #703 10:00 pm - *passes out drunk, mascara smeared all over (looks like a raccoon) didn’t shower* “I’ll shower tomorrow” 10:43pm- *snoring, pretty sure that was a fart* 11:00pm- he wasn’t to spoon? Push him over, it’s too damn hot !
11:45 am - *him: “good morning sunshine! How’d you sleep?” “Grrrrr!!” (growls)