Small Marvels
Small Marvels mental illness stories
  2
  •  
  0
  •   5 comments
Share

jojojello
jojojello if you know who I am, could you show me?
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
As a child, I was a morning person. Being in bed was boring. I wanted to be up, and doing things.

Small Marvels

As a child, I was a morning person

Being in bed was boring. I wanted to be up, and doing things.

Awake with the sun and playing before the morning dew dried.

What do you think that happy child would think

If I told them that now, years and no time later,

getting myself out of bed is a marvel?

Eating is a feat of endurance. Cooking is nearly impossible.

My energy and my motivation are enemies, when I have either at all.

Mostly I don't do anything,

Wishing I could pause time to rest more in between

procrastinating

and trying to convince myself to work

It doesn't work.

As a teenager, I relied on pressure

As long as a deadline was more than hours away I had better things to do

No obligation felt real until suddenly it was necessary

And then I could throw myself into my work

Getting enough sleep was not an option in high school.

What do you think that hopeful teenager would think

If I told them that now, I spend all my time sleeping?

No friends to take me away from projects

Until we complained about them so much

We felt guilty and finished them.

No friends to talk with long past the middle of the night.

Pressure doesn't work anymore.

Without it, I can't convince myself to work

With it, I shut down.

I've failed too many times

Missed the deadline too many times

Why should this time be any different

Why even bother trying

When did trying become a marvel?

When did living become a marvel?

When did small marvels

Grow so big

And take over

Everything?

Stories We Think You'll Love 💕

Get The App

App Store
COMMENTS (5)
SHOUTOUTS (0)