My story begins in the Philippine islands. I was a young teenage girl in college who fell in love with a player.
Yes, a player… He was varsity in our university and as is usually the case with popular guys, he was surrounded by a lot of groupies.
Over the years we were together, he cheated on me numerous times; stupid me, I would always forgive him and believe his lies.
I would always think that “well…he’s a guy, it’s normal”, convincing myself he will always come back to me anyway. Eventually, he left me for someone I could never become, a “mestiza model”.
“Mestiza” is a Filipino word used to describe pale skin girls, a trait considered superior to the more native, darker shade of skin.
But I’ll leave this aside for now, since it belongs to the next chapter of my life (Beauty).
As a result of my breakup, I was heartbroken and lonely. You know how it is when you’re young and in love; you feel like every little problem is the end of the world.
But I’m not the type of woman who will beg someone to stay. I would rather be miserable in my own way. Which I did. And then a darker side of me emerged.
I would skip class, abuse alcohol and party with every opportunity.
“This can’t keep going on for much longer”, I thought, “I don’t deserve this”…I had to make a change.
In order for me to move on I would need to get away from the person who hurt me -from the people and places that remind me of him. So I decided to go on a year-long vacation in the United States.