Patience, the characteristic almost skill that people need to have. Otherwise you are impulsive or lack self control and discipline.
I call bullshit.
Patience is a quality that has been used and abused when it concerns a bad situation someone is in.
"Be patient, everything will be alright."
"Be patient, it will get better."
I call bullshit!
I need to hold on for a while longer, only if I am comfortable doing so.
Or, even when I'm not comfortable holding on to a certain someone or a certain situation, I need to be patient if, and only if, I choose such for myself.
Because of the work that I do, I am confronted many times with people who are in a violent relationship,
while various close ones are telling them that their partner is just in a bad day and they need to be patient with him/her.
You have no idea how complicated and difficult it is to deconstruct this concept that the abused part can solve the problem if they are a little softer and carrying,
if they hold on just for a bit longer and have patience.
Most of these souls, who are abused by partners or any family member really, have been told, sometimes for years on end, that they are the problem,
that they get abused (in all its forms) because they deserve it.
Talking to them with the knowledge that I have about this problematic and trying to explain that they are to blame for nothing of what happened, that they are free to live however
they please, free to stop being so patient... it's very difficult.
It's as if you saw an eagle who has been with a broken wing for a very long time and you tell it that you can help fix the wing and it can fly again if it only chooses to accept my help.
It won't believe you.
It will ask you:
It will ask you: "How can you help me, if for so many years no one did?"
You look at that eagle and you see a beautiful and strong soul. You see a fixable problem and you explain how it can be fixed.
Some eagles will choose to take your hand. Others have learned to hold on and be patient.
They have mastered the art of walking, looking to the sky only to remember good past days. They look at the sky as if it was an unachievable dream and they've learned to live this way.
Those who take your help often wish they had done it earlier.
Humans are not eagles, but they have broken parts too.
Being patient with your broken pieces is only good if they are no longer breaking.
Patience is for supermarket queues and dentists waiting rooms.