I laid alone in a bed far to big for one person as I wondered about life. The loneliness surrounded me. I could hear it call to me in the silence. This is all you have left. Emptiness.
I cried my last tear for the night as I squeezed my eyes closed. I swore I would sleep. The darkness, it engulfed me. I was at peace, but then. I hear a knock at my door.
Who would be knocking at this time of night? I opened the door and there they were. My wife! My kids! My heart leaped with excitement. She said she was sorry. She wanted to try again.
We would work it out. I said yes. Yes! Yes!Yes! That's all I wanted. We put the kids in their beds. My wife and I walked to our bed. Finally. The bed was no longer to big.
She laid down and extended her arms. I happily laid in them. I looked into her eyes. Gently brushing her hair from her forehead. I leaned in to kiss her sweet lips. I longed for her touch.
I closed my eyes. Darkness surrounded me. I opened my eyes to look at her beautiful face. Where did she go? I was holding a pillow. I looked at it I'm sure with a very confused expression.
Where are they? I set up and realized they were never here. Why? Why are you tormenting me? I started to blame my mind. You betrayer! Why must you tease me. Why must you trick me! She was here.
She was real. My mind told me “I am not the one to blame.” You know she is not here. Then who I wondered ? Who has betrayed me? Who would do such a thing? But I knew who. I have always known who.
It was the most broken part of me. The part that can't let go. The part that will never let go.
It was my heart.