To disconnect? How dare you, I am here.
The allure of a small shining screen? ...you offend?
The twitch of my thumb swallows my hand and moves upwards to my eyes.
What is this that draws my energy deep inside of it?
What is it about the soft lights and ease of my thumbs just casually tapping and scrolling that causes so much ignorant bliss?
When did I decide to let this one thing control my cravings and desires for joy?
Why must I feel the need to escape every 45 minutes?
Is someone calling? Ignore it.
Did someone send me something, a conversation? Ignore it.
A chimp on a boat? I'm all here.
A back flip on a mountain? I've never been more amused.
A controversial comment? This is why I woke up today.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand when I see the half finished headline.
"Boy drowns while mother was ..." I must know more.
It isn't enough to digest it alone, it's not enough to just know anymore.
The real object of my desire is to share what I have seen,
to make others scream as I have screamed
and laugh as I have laughed.
That is the quench to my eternal thirst in this never ending scroll.
I can scroll into oblivion for hours until my eyes have bled from the inside
and the capillaries that popped long ago...
now begin to mourn for themselves.
For I am not staring blindly at a screen. I am alive,
I am immersed.
I am happy, I am sad,
I am shocked, I am calm.
I am enlightened,
I am disgusted.
and i am no one for this hour.
I am every emotion in my soul's repertoire yet,
at the same time, feel nothing.
The unthinkable, the unimaginable, the wretched and dark. Am I amused by this?
Or have I simply placed myself so far from reality that this is merely an interactive picture now?
Is it real? Is any of it real?
Where can I begin to look for answers? What other answers will I find if I look?
I'm afraid that I am afraid.
But how can I put it down?
I know not what else to do.
I know not who else to be.
Perhaps if I read just one more story... and watch just one more clip.
I will find my answers I'm looking for.
If not, this time I swear,
"Alligator attacks innocent man as onlookers..."