Ever since I was little I was very shy and socially awkward. I was usually by myself since I wasn't sure how to make friends.
As the years went by I noticed the boys in my class would look at me and laugh I wasn't sure why but it made even more of an introvert than I already was.
The first person who ever really said mean things to me was a girl named Jane. Sometimes we were friends and sometimes we were enemies. This was before the word "frienemies" was a thing.
I remember one day my older cousin coming into the school and lecturing Jane about the way she was treating me. I don't remember telling her but maybe I did.
Eventually Jane moved away and I thought things would be better. After she left, I tried to make friends with the other girls in my class.
It was hard because they were very outgoing and I wasn't. They got good grades, were good at sports and good friends with the boys in our class. We had nothing in common.
The very first person that wanted to be my friend was a boy who got made fun of more than I did.
He was very nice and I wanted to be his friend but I didn't want to be picked on so I thought distancing myself from him was best. It was hard considering we had all our classes together.
Since Jane was gone I wasn't bullied, I was just kind of an outcast. I wasn't sure what was worse, being bullied or being ignored completely.
Both made me feel sad and I didn't know how to make it better. Once sixth grade came around a girl moved to our area. She had lived there before but we weren't friends then.
Since she was kind of new I thought this would be my chance to finally have a friend and I was right. Me and her became best friends but unfortunately she ended up moving away again.
Life went back to the way it was before and it wasn't fun.
I thought high school was going to be better because it would be a bigger school, I could avoid the boys who picked on me and I could meet new people who I could make friends with.
I was right and wrong. I was avoiding the boys but I wasn't making new friends. I got into the habit of sitting by myself at lunch and going straight to my classes instead of talking to people.
I was still socially awkward and puberty wasn't helping anything. This went on for about two years.
It all ended when a girl named Carol asked me if I wanted to eat lunch with her and her friends and I said "sure." I didn't know that'd be the best thing that'd ever happened to me.
I met her friends and they were so nice, they became my friends. I finally thought that I was finally going to have a happy school experience, I was wrong.
Once I became a Junior, a Freshman boy started bullying me. It was very embarrassing so I didn't tell any authority figure that could help me but I did have some friends that knew.
Some of those friends liked him and some of those friends felt the same way I did. Some how me and him became frienemies. I tried to avoid him the best I could and sometimes it worked.
I was finally starting to stand up for myself thanks to my friends who were always there for me.
Eventually his remarks weren't bothering me anymore and I thought I was finally done being sad by bullies. I was very wrong. Finally I'm a Senior but I still had to take a freshman class.
It was very embarrassing and maybe this is why they bullied me but I don't really know. In this class there were three boys who started bullying me.
For a while it was just words until one of the boys kicked me.
It only hurt for just a few seconds and that was the only time they were physically abusive however they were still mean with their words.
One day I just needed a break so after lunch, I didn't go back to class. I stayed in the bathroom until I heard the bell meaning that class was over for the day.
I regretted it about ten-twenty minutes in because I was bored and I ended up getting detention for skipping class. I didn't care because I needed to be away from them.
Those three boys who I will not name picked on me every single day until that semester was over.
I believe everything happens for a reason
I have to believe God made me go through all that to make me stronger. I hope anyone who is being bullied says something to their parents or teacher because this type of behavior needs to stop.
There's already so much hate in the world we don't need to add more.