Falling Leafs: The sadness of watching the most creative parts of your being diminish as you grow old is extremely disheartening. As shallow creatures prosper near and far, as monetary provisions usurp your waning energy and over shadow hopes, the mind shrink- it begins to peddle small things. over as once timeless inspiration begins to withers, darkens the marrow of my soul. At least for me, I’ve always cherished space to think, imagine, and create, perhaps more than any other activity. This is why the latter years of my life, encumbered by possessions, mundane chores, and medical issues has burdened me so greatly. Time is leaving. Solomon was said that there is a time for every activity. A time for war and a time for peace. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to laugh and a time to cry. In the deception of youth I seem to have read these common passages as something to consider for those wasting life or not weighing their expectations properly, but little did I know Solomon was tallying his own days. He was older and reflecting on all he had done to help prepare man for death- the end of creating and breathe. In one verse, he even depicts the male rod of fertility as limping about like an old grasshopper, not able to perform as in youth. For a man who once entertained a thousands of wives after illuminating the minds of thousand eager wisdom seekers, impotence would’ve been a soul crusher. Personally, I need too invent someone to save me. Although God secures my souls destiny perhaps if I invent characters and circumstances whose luck is better than mine, it will be of more comfort to many- most importantly myself. I want to escape to the better years of my life, not so much the youthful periods but those where I did what pleased my heart. In those moments I felt alive, fulfilling divine destinies, and living in the shadow of heaven.
Falling Leafs:

The sadness of watching the most creative parts of your being diminish as you grow old is extremely disheartening. As shallow creatures prosper near and far, as monetary provisions usurp your waning energy and over shadow hopes, the min... hell stories
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jdraper
jdraperCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  2 months ago
Can you find calm in the silence of nite?

Falling Leafs: The sadness of watching the most creative parts of your being diminish as you grow old is extremely disheartening. As shallow creatures prosper near and far, as monetary provisions usurp your waning energy and over shadow hopes, the mind shrink- it begins to peddle small things. over as once timeless inspiration begins to withers, darkens the marrow of my soul. At least for me, I’ve always cherished space to think, imagine, and create, perhaps more than any other activity. This is why the latter years of my life, encumbered by possessions, mundane chores, and medical issues has burdened me so greatly. Time is leaving. Solomon was said that there is a time for every activity. A time for war and a time for peace. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to laugh and a time to cry. In the deception of youth I seem to have read these common passages as something to consider for those wasting life or not weighing their expectations properly, but little did I know Solomon was tallying his own days. He was older and reflecting on all he had done to help prepare man for death- the end of creating and breathe. In one verse, he even depicts the male rod of fertility as limping about like an old grasshopper, not able to perform as in youth. For a man who once entertained a thousands of wives after illuminating the minds of thousand eager wisdom seekers, impotence would’ve been a soul crusher. Personally, I need too invent someone to save me. Although God secures my souls destiny perhaps if I invent characters and circumstances whose luck is better than mine, it will be of more comfort to many- most importantly myself. I want to escape to the better years of my life, not so much the youthful periods but those where I did what pleased my heart. In those moments I felt alive, fulfilling divine destinies, and living in the shadow of heaven.

Calm of Night: I recently used the restroom and rather than pee all over my self, I open the door and began to wiz in the dark. As I did it worried me that someone else might enter the bathroom, so I closed the door without turning on the light because it was out of reach. To my surprise one of the first things to come to mind was hell. The darkness often reminds me of hell and what gloomy dungeons await the unfaithful. In the moment I imagined what it must be like to live with everything you currently hold dear in your heart. And I wondered if I were to have to wait in a dark place at a prison, could I be happy or content in my own mind? So I closed my eyes and began to ponder on what was in me. Are there beautiful reflections and memories so immense in my heart that they can overwhelm regret and grief if so for how long? Could I replenish joy and happiness repeatedly for days and years in my heart to keep remorse and anger from drowning me in tears? The Bible often describes hell as a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth. These behaviors lead me to wonder on what causes them in life. And upon reflection, anger of I remember correctly makes you bite your teeth hard and want to cry out of anger. So, to make a long story short I wonder what happens to a man that no longer has an agenda to reflect upon and distract him after he lays down for the nite. If he is left to his own mind and thoughts for all eternity, what might he find there and will it be a wonderful place to live out eternity? See for yourself if what I’m explaining is true. After you close your eyes, what comes to mind and what kinds of memories grip you? Are you happy being alone or does the calm of nites leave you restless?

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