He broke my heart but he doesn't know it

jazCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
I saw the Love Story Contest on Tumblr and couldn't pass it up. Had to get this off my chest.

He broke my heart but he doesn't know it

by jaz

I fell in love at an usual age to a boy who I believed was the one. He didn't even try to make me feel any differently but he never showed any signs he felt the same

My world revolves around him and my thoughts started to become words with him. He said he didn't see me that way. I silently suffered as I smiled for 8 years of our friendship.

My days spent between that day and today were filled with hope that he would finally choose me. Our friendship was deep, we talked about everything and nothing. Then it happened.

She came out of nowhere, knocking me off my feet and sweeping him off his. I sit and watch as their relationship grew into something I couldn't compete with. I knew I had lost.

She was everything I wasn't. She was everything he wanted me to be that I couldn't reach. Pale skin, blue eyes. My curly black hair and dull brown eyes didn't come close.

I sat and thought what if they make it? What if they vow to each other in a beautiful ceremony with a country music band playing at the reception? We both know he hates country music.

But what she likes, he now likes. He drunkenly texted me trying to break me, to find out if I still loved him. God I do. I wanted to say it but couldn't. I just couldn't. I never responded.

I sat and thought about if I had. It would mean nothing. His fear of hurting girls feeling by leaving them seemed brave to him but hurting mine meant nothing.

I knew I had reached the end with him. I love him, I will always love him. We never were romantically involved, never even kissed but it feels like a blade through the heart.

Their pictures are enough to make me realize as I lay in bed at night it's time to let go. My beautiful soulmate is with a girl who loves him just as much as I do and I know it.

The day I sit at their wedding and they finally kiss, I will clap with rest of them and realize my sacrifice of love will come back to me greater than ever and will be rewarded. He will be fine.

I will be fine.

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pluxoa dumb kid
4 months ago
r u mine tomorrow? or just mine tonight?

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a year agoReply
I wish I could give you the world's biggest hug right now. You go girl. You have every right to be happy and I am so so GLAD that you are moving on, to better things in life. You will be okay. I promise.

shadowpuzzleBronze CommaINTROVERT AND WEIRD AND YIE I'M 16
a year agoReply
Longing for someone you knew that you'll never ever be yours.

shadowpuzzleBronze CommaINTROVERT AND WEIRD AND YIE I'M 16
a year agoReply
Hard,they don't knew what kind of pain of it...

itsmoeyyywriter. dreamer.
a year agoReply
Bruh this is so sad...I hope you're okay 😢

a year agoReply
@bernardtwindwil awwww thank you! Thankful to have you to talk to truly.

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a year agoReply
@jaz You are an ethical person with values. You refuse to be used. I, for one, am proud to know ypou.

a year agoReply
@bernardtwindwil thank you. I refused to reply. My hand reached to reply but I couldn't. I'm glad I didn't. I don't want to give him the satisfaction. If I would've broke, he would've just laughed because that's how he is. Never would make a move. I'm glad I wrote this because it's eye opening.

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a year agoReply
@jaz He texts you for a combination of "reasons". My theory is he is starting to get the sophomore blues and wondering if he could have done better. It is hard to live with another person. It takes a while and a lot of effort. He is playing the what if game. I suspect he knew you cared all along but he went for a walk on the wild side and now has a certain remorse. I think you are maintaining hope for a situation that was wrong from the beginning. He was not the right guy. He should not be texting you that makes him an unethical cheat. If you respond, you will regret it the rest of your life. Don't let him use you again.

a year agoReply
@pluto I hope a guy will come and show me o deserve better. I want him to show me that my feelings for this guy were nothing but a first love to be forgotten. I want to be so confident in my relationship with him I can look at him and not question if he's my soulmate or a cover up. Hopefully my friendship will continue even after this. I would love to look at him and see him as just a friend.

a year agoReply
@bernardtwindwil I've been dealing with this heavily in the last year and have realized it was my fault. My silence, our stubbornness, and lack of emotion lead us here. I'm sure she broke him down in a way I could never. He never was adventurous, affectionate, or open until her. I'm glad she makes him happy but I still wonder if he is. Why text me? A game? After all these years why now when your happy? I wonder.