My Friend Beating the Record for Most Quarters in a Belly Button on The Tonight Show
My Friend Beating the Record for Most Quarters in a Belly Button on The Tonight Show humor stories
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jameswrites
jameswrites He is probably a spam bot.
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
"This is exactly why you always wash your
hands after handling money"

Source: https://gloriouspublicati...

My Friend Beating the Record for Most Quarters in a Belly Button on The Tonight Show

Randon sheds his t-shirt. He takes the twenty

quarters from Leno’s hand, relishing

the brush of Leno’s distinguished fingers.

Randon regards the crowd whose eyebrows are raised,

whose girlfriends mime a gagging motion

and lets his gaze fall on the red camera dot,

the weight of a million eyes on his stomach.

Randon, pretend we’re in a room together practicing.

Four quarters at a time, push them as far

to one side of your bellybutton as you can

with the efficiency of an assistant

filing away papers. Don’t be afraid

to let your frustration show

when you reach the ten quarters hump.

And always savor the piggy bank noise

your stomach makes when you relax to prove

the quarters are cradled safely in your belly.

Randon’s eyes dart from the red camera dot,

to Leno, to the band huddled in the corner

to the crowd:

“This is exactly why you always wash your

hands after handling money,” some say.

“He is obviously fond of vending machines,” others say.

Their criticism is stifled

by Leno’s applause,

by all of us gloating back home,

by the roar of the band

celebrating a superior performer.

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