WTF Stories! #5: Trade What?
WTF Stories! #5: Trade What? sad stories
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jamesisweird
jamesisweird I invite you to read my mind
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
When you're happy with life, what more do you need?

WTF Stories! #5: Trade What?

WARNING! Swearing, vulgarity and pure nonsense ahead. Viewer discretion is advised.

A young warrior was clearing his way down a dangerous path, slaying all sorts of deadly beasts, from imps and evil sprites, to fire breathing dragons and undead warriors.

As he walked down a eerily clear path, a cloud of smoke appeared in front of his face.

It was a skeleton of a man, dressed in a black robe with a heavily armed book of spells.

"Warrior, I interrupt your journey to offer you a deal of a lifetime."

The warrior laughed. "What is it?"

The skeleton man waved his arm around showing him a soon to be revealed potion.

"Drink this and you will have everything you desire, but be warned, with the good, always comes the bad."

He stared into the warriors eyes.

"So brave warrior what will it-"

"Pass."

The warrior said with no emotion making his way past the skeleton man.

"Wait what? Just like that? You can have everything...at a cost."

The warrior laughed again.

"I'm content with what I have."

The skeleton mage was freaking out and threw his book on the ground.

"No you have no idea, I cant come back empty handed! I have mouths to corrupt!"

He dropped to his knees grabbing the warriors hands.

"I'll suck your shlong man!" He pointed to his head.

"A literal skull fuck, doesn't that sound nice?"

The warrior scratched his head.

"But I'll still be cursed, and I don't want that."

"Fine, no curse, but I need to give this to someone."

The warrior whipped off his pants.

"Get to work."

To which he did.

As they were finishing the warrior suddenly started to moan and grew almost double in size and obtained many of his wishes.

"Wait, what?" The skeleton tramp got up wiping his skull.

"You didn't drink the potion yet you got everything you wanted?"

The warriors laugh was now bigger and louder than ever.

"I encountered a witch that told me if I encountered a desperate horny skeleton mage within the month I would get everything I wanted."

Suddenly the skeleton screamed and transformed into a huge bag of fart trolls to which the warrior let all of them fart into his mouth.

As he made his marry way to slay more demons, he had one more trick up his sleeve, or ass.

He moaned and groaned and laid a big white and green egg. A deformed dragon came out and he rode it through the skies until they were both shot to death by angry elves who shit in both of their mouths.

*** END!

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