Once not too long ago my dog Skittles ran into a skunk. When I say ran into i mean ran into.
She chased it for three blocks until the skunk got super pissed and decided to spray her right in the face as she was running at it.
Now the rest of the story will be told from her perspective. Once the skunk sprayed her things started to just be a little off. The sky had become rainbow colored.
Water turned red and grass started to glow. When she ran home she could see the wind it was making all these shapes that she had never seen before and it started to talk to her.
It was asking her we she’s so mean to squirrels. This made her think. Why did she hate squirrels? She then decided to chase down a squirrel to apologize.
Once she found a tree that had some squirrels she was about to start to apologize but as soon as she was about to speak she heard them talking.
What were they talking about? Well world domination of course. Not about taking over the world, oh no. See squirrels had already taken over the world a long time ago.
Only a few people have ever known about the squirrels being the true world leaders and would most definitely not let anyone else know.
So what was Skittles to do. She couldn’t tell anyone because who would believe her. Worse yet most humans were to dumb to understand the universal animal speak.
She went home and started thinking about what she could do to save the world from these evil vermin.
Bouncing ideas off her sister Brooklyn and her neighbor Boah, she finally thought of a good idea.
If she was going to rid the world of the global squirrel pandemic she would have to band together all the dogs cats and chipmunks in the world and start a war.
Scare all the squirrels off the planet, maybe they would be decent neighbors living on Mars.
Over the next 3 years she successfully banded together the animals town by town and driving out the squirrels. Until she had them cornered in Washington DC. They thought they were safe here.
After all they were now being protected by their political puppets, They even had the US army on their side. But they kept underestimating the incompetence of humans.
The squirrel leadership thought they were losing because of excellent strategizing on the other side but no. It was just cuteness.
Any time a human tried to fight on the side of squirrels the side would just pull out the puppy dog eyes and that human would switch sides.
Within days Skittles and her army was at their doorsteps. So they decided to just give up and move to Mars.
Skittles found the launch site and decided to do one last thing to those poor squirrels. She snuck an extra passenger on the ship, President Donald Trump.
The squirrels didn't notice until they were already half way to Mars and yet everyone on Earth could hear them scream.
With the Squirrels gone Skittles placed herself as the secret queen of the world. Using newly placed President Sanders as a mouthpeace she brought peace to all the world.
Skittles lived out her long life happy and fulfilled, knowing she's made the world a better place. On her ninety third birthday she decided she was ready to see what was next after life.
She closed her eyes and prepared die. To her surprise she woke up where she was sprayed by the skunk all those years ago with only a hour actually passing. This is where I found her.
Not knowing anything about what went on in her head. I just picked her up, took her home, gave her a bath to get the stink off her and snuggled with her the rest of the night.