"The High Silk Hat"
The following features a parody of the silly song "Larry's High Silk Hat" from VeggieTales
"Matilda" (c) Jersey Films
VeggieTales (c) Big Idea
It was a lovely evening at Magnus Hall (Formerly Crunchem Hall), and a special one because, in the assembly room, parents, family, and friends were sitting in chairs on both sides of the room,
watching a talent show where the students of the school showed off their talents of all different kinds.
While all of this was going on, backstage a group of friends at Magnus Hall were preparing for their part of the show.
Those friends included, Bruce Bogtrotter, Lavender, Amanda Thripp, and of course Matilda Wormwood.
Together with their new friend, Jake McCartney who had recently moved to the town and was enrolled at Magnus Hall, were going to perform a song that Matilda had found in a songbook.
Matilda was going to sing a solo part as well as with a "Chorus" of the other students.
Jake, the new student was going to sing another solo part, with Matilda and the others providing back-up vocals.
Getting Jake to agree to sing with them was no easy task, as he was shy about singing for other people.
He would sing to himself in the halls, and in the shower at home, but never before had he sang for people. Matilda finally convinced him to do it, but that's another story.
It was nearly time for Matilda and the group to go on, after the group had finished rehearsing, Matilda walked over to Jake, who just put on a silk top hat, and picked up a box of chocolates.
"So," Matilda asked "Are you ready to perform in our talent show?"
"Yes," Jake replied "I just hope I don't mess this up."
"You'll do wonderful, I know it." Reassured Matilda
Just then, Ms. Honey came back and said "Are you all ready? It's just about time for you to go on."
They all nodded and they headed towards the stage, and Ms. Honey introduced them.
Shortly afterwards the curtain went up to reveal Jake sitting on a bench wearing the top hat and holding the box of chocolates, with the "Chorus" to his left and Matilda to his right.
The music began and Matilda began to sing,
One day, while he was waiting for the trolley, he had a hat.
My High Silk Hat!
He wore it high upon his head so proudly. A beautiful hat.
My High Silk Hat!
A hat likes this just makes him feel so grandly. Now fancy this, and fancy that: The splendor of his hat in all its majesty,
Like a king in a royal cap. I feel so swell and handsome in my hat, I bet that others wish they had in fact a hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so fine, a high silk hat.
Oh, Bruce Bogtrotter, now what do you think of that?
Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly. I must in fact, share more than that. For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly. Of chocolate this.
--And chocolate that.
Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy, a chocolate bliss.
A chocolate snack.
Confections such as these are more than candy. Somewhat like life, a box of that.
I have my chocolate placed upon my lap. I feel so good you just cannot top that. I have my snack a chocolate pack, of chocolate this and chocolate that.
Oh golly, Lavender, now what do you think of that?
Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter upon his hat-
-And chocolate snack
So beneath his hat he thought and pondered-
-What should I do? To save my hat?
He thought and contemplated as he perspired beneath his hat-
-Upon his lap
He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire into a pool.
A chocolate vat
I won't feel grand if I take off my hat. The sun's getting hot, and my hat just might go flat. My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets might melt like that. Oh, hurry Mr.
Trolley before my dapperness goes flat.
He decided to forego his looks so dashing. To save his hat.
"-And little snack!"
So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him-
-And put his hat on top of that.
Oh please, oh please.
-Don't anybody sit close to me, upon my hat.
Upon my hat.
I ask, if all of you could be so kindly, and just stand back, Away from my snack!
After Jake had said that last line, another student who had stuffed pillows in his jacket, sat down on the bench on the hat and box (As part of the act),
Jake looked shocked along with the others and he began to sing.
A great big squash just sat upon my hat! A great big squash just squished my hat real flat! He squashed my hat, he made it flat, he squished my snack, oh what of that?
Oh, tell me anybody, now what do you think of that?
A great big squash just sat upon his hat! A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat! He squashed his hat, he made it flat, he squished his snack, oh what of that?
Then, as part of the act, a student carrying a cardboard cut out of a trolley showed up, the others got on board and walked away, leaving Jake with a squashed hat,
box of chocolates and yet another student dressed as a janitor, with a cart picking up trash.
Oh golly, Um...What's your name?
"They've never given me a name," the student said "I've been part of the group since show one, and I still don't have a name" and walked off.
Now what do you think of that!?
On that note, the music ended, the audience applauded, the curtain closed and everything was set up for the next act.
Later, after the talent show had concluded, Jake was waiting on his parents to come over and take him home, when Matilda showed up with the other students who performed with him.
"You enjoyed doing it, didn't you, Jake?" Asked Matilda
"I sure did!" Jake replied with a smile.
"You were fantastic!" Said Bruce
The friends talked and talked until Jake's parents showed up. After introducing his parents to his friends, they took him home.
Jake felt happy and tired, but he knew that wasn't the last time he'd ever perform.