by Ink Spotz
I hold your hand in the hospital. You are smiling softly at me as I lay in the bed, running your thumb over my knuckles. Trying to calm me.
“It'll be okay,” you keep saying softly. The heart rate monitors beep behind you.
The doctor enters the room, looking at the pair of us. Just by looking at his face, I can tell that the news he's about to give us isn't good, and it isn't.
I'm going to die.
You keep wiping the tears away from my face. You don't care that tears are welling up in your own eyes. Your only concern is for me and my well being.
As you wipe my tears away, I know that I never did anything in my life to deserve someone as special as you.
“You're going to be okay,” You say, bending to press a kiss to my forehead.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the sun begin to set. Setting behind the skyline. Setting on my life.
But there's a cure. They are calling it the “Sleeping Beauty”. You continue to hold my hand as the doctor tells us about it.
It could work. Then again, I could lose you.
I squeeze your hand tighter. I practically have it in a vice at this point, but you seem unfazed.
You talk with conviction to me after the doctor is finished. You tell me that I need to do this in order to survive.
I don't want to, but I fear deep down that you are right.
You spend the rest of the day with me.
Now with us both knowing that tomorrow is the day when I will be put to sleep for who knows how long until a cure is found, we don't want to waste any more time.
We exchange our fondest memories.
Our "I love you"s.
The next day finds us together. Your head rests against my side on the hospital bed. Your hand is in mine.
They wheel me down to the room first thing. The sun hasn't risen yet behind the musty white curtains of the hospital room I slept in the night before.
You walk alongside me all the way to the room. Our hands never leave each others.
The time for the final goodbyes comes. Tears fall from your eyes now. You don't even try to hold them back.
I reach up a hand to let the drops crystallize on my hand for a moment before they run off into the capsule I've been placed in.
Your tears will be mixed with the ice that will soon freeze me.
“I love you,” you say one last time with such pain, with such sadness, that I lay down with a heavy heart.
The see through top is slid over me. Now your face above me has become distorted.
Fighting back tears, I close my eyes.
The cold soon takes hold. I greet a world of white.
Time passes in my icy grave.
I'm trapped with my thoughts. I wonder how much time has passed. Then my thoughts turn to you. Have you moved on with someone else? Will you somehow be waiting for me when I wake again?
The cold wears away eventually, and slowly, I open my eyes.
The time for answers finally arrives.
The top is removed, and my eyes gaze upwards into the light.
My only question is: will I be in a world with or without you?