by Ink Spotz
"John, what do you mean by signing your texts with, LOL?" asked Sherlock as he walked into the kitchen where John was brewing himself some tea.
Sherlock had his mobile in his hand, the light from the screen lighting up the shadows on his face.
John looked up from the tea that he was making, raising a brow at him.
"What do you mean?" asked John.
Sherlock sighed as he started to read John's text. "You wrote, 'When do you ever buy the milk? LOL.'"
"You don't know what LOL means?" asked John.
"It looks like you just put the word loll at the end of the text, minus an L," stated Sherlock.
"It's an abbreviation, Sherlock," said John, pouring himself some tea.
"For what?" asked Sherlock. " 'Loyalty Over Lies'?"
He chuckled, "No, it stands for Laugh Out Loud."
"Laugh Out Loud? That's stupid. You're sending a virtual laugh?" asked Sherlock. "That's preposterous!"
"For someone that's a genius, you don't know much about texting lingo, do you?"
John shook his head, a small smile on his face as he walked past Sherlock and into the other room, sitting in his chair with the tea cup.
"Yes, lingo. In other words, you don't know the texting slang, do you?"
Sherlock walked into the other room too, sinking into his chair.
"I know a lot, so why junk up my brain with something so utterly useless?"
"It's not useless, Sherlock. It saves time where texting is concerned. Are you telling me that you actually type out everything in a text and don't use abbreviations?"
"Of course," said Sherlock, pretending to be insulted. "If a thought is worth sharing with another human being, why share it half-heartedly?"
"Geez, Sherlock. It's just a text, not a letter," said John. "It's not a crime to use them. Like it's not a crime to use laughing faces, hearts, and smiley faces."
"What?" asked Sherlock, laughing slightly. "What do you mean?"
John placed the tea cup aside, digging out his mobile. He made his fingers fly across the keys, soon showing Sherlock the screen. His crystal blue eyes read the small, digital writing.
'Sherlock doesn't know texting lingo. LOL xD'
"Now you understand what LOL stands for, the x and d after it make a picture of a laughing face."
Sherlock studied it, inclining his head to the side slightly.
"You know what's funny? The fact that you think an X and D combined makes a laughing face."
"Well, it does. Can't you see it?"
"You're saying, as you said, Laugh out Loud X D. What? Are X and D abbreviations for people?"
"Sherlock, it's just suppose to make a picture!" stated John, wondering what he had just gotten himself into.
"If it makes any picture, it's not a laughing face. It reminds me of the face of someone who died," said Sherlock, sitting back.
"Like in those cartoons, when a cartoon character dies, their eyes becoming Xs."
"Geez, Sherlock..." John sighed, turning his mobile screen to face him again. He proceeded to start texting again. "Let me show you how to text a heart. Maybe you'll understand that one better."
"I'm a high-functioning sociopath, John..."
"Just let me try," muttered John.
Sherlock leaned back in his seat, crossing his legs as John looked at his mobile, waiting for him to start talking again.
"When you like someone, and want to say that you love them, you place the greater than symbol next to the three like this," said John,doing the action and flipping the screen to show him the hear
"That makes no sense," muttered Sherlock, staring at the mobile.
"Of course it does. Don't you see the picture?" asked John.
"Yes, of course I do. I'm not blind. It's just, if you think about what you're texting... Look, in your case, you're saying, 'I love you. See you soon, greater than three.'"
"Sherlock, you aren't suppose to look at it in its literal sense. You're suppose to look at the picture."
"Right, so just because it looks like a heart, I'm suppose to ignore it's actual implications.
"So if a restaurant was on fire, it's okay to just let it burn because the colors of the flame are pretty?"
John ran his hand over his face. He knew that trying to teach Sherlock texting lingo would end up like this.
"What does a burning restaurant have to do with this heart?"
"It says greater than three, John. I can't get over that. You're saying your love for this person is only greater than three."
"For goodness sakes, it's a bloody heart. See, that's a heart just like this is a smiley face," said John, typing in a smiley face into his phone.
"It's not a smiley face, John. It means colon parenthesis. That makes even less sense.
What does that have to do with anything? It's like you're saying, 'I'm so happy to see you that I'm attaching a colon parenthesis to this text'."
John clapped his hands over his face in frustration, shaking his head. Leave it to Sherlock to dissect everything.