by H.C. Kay
You didn't know me, but I knew you.
I'd spent countless hours on your Tumblr. I read all of your personal posts, your interactions with your followers. And I fell in love.
You seemed sort of lonely. So was I.
I gathered up the courage to talk to you. It was never anything much, but our conversations made me smile to myself when I recalled them. You put some meaning into my life.
Then it happened.
I was lonely and miserable. Against my better judgement, I anonymously sent you a confession of what I felt towards you. But I wasn't very good at anonymity.
I was foolish.
I couldn't give you the connection that you wanted. I could only silently type out texts through the Tumblr messaging feature. No late night Skype calls, no cute Snapchats.
I wasn't your type.
I wasn't attractive. I wasn't witty and engaging. I was boring and needy.
Then came everything else.
The impossibility of meeting in person.
So I let you go.
Even if you loved me, you wouldn't have wanted to wait so many years. I was sad at first. But I went back and saw you and her. And now I just wish you that same happiness that you once had.
I could have loved you.
But I shouldn't. So I didn't. I only hope I'll have that kind of happiness that you once had too someday.