I could have loved you
I could have loved you stories
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hck
hckjust another lonely soul
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago

I could have loved you

by H.C. Kay

You didn't know me, but I knew you.

I'd spent countless hours on your Tumblr. I read all of your personal posts, your interactions with your followers. And I fell in love.

You seemed sort of lonely. So was I.

I gathered up the courage to talk to you. It was never anything much, but our conversations made me smile to myself when I recalled them. You put some meaning into my life.

Then it happened.

I was lonely and miserable. Against my better judgement, I anonymously sent you a confession of what I felt towards you. But I wasn't very good at anonymity.

I was foolish.

I couldn't give you the connection that you wanted. I could only silently type out texts through the Tumblr messaging feature. No late night Skype calls, no cute Snapchats.

I wasn't your type.

I wasn't attractive. I wasn't witty and engaging. I was boring and needy.

Then came everything else.

The distance.

The impossibility of meeting in person.

So I let you go.

Even if you loved me, you wouldn't have wanted to wait so many years. I was sad at first. But I went back and saw you and her. And now I just wish you that same happiness that you once had.

I could have loved you.

But I shouldn't. So I didn't. I only hope I'll have that kind of happiness that you once had too someday.

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