My heart slams against my chest.
You can do it, Roselyn. Just tell him how you feel.
I take a deep breath before knocking on Ismus' door.
It feels like an eternity before I hear his feet on the other side. He opens the door. His face is perplexed.
My eyes can't help examining him. His hair is messy, like he just got out of bed. He's in his pajamas: a white t-shirt with red and black plaid pants. I feel my face heat up.
Why does he look so attractive right now?
"Y-yes..?" I stammer, looking into his deep emerald eyes.
"What's the matter? It's late."
He's less annoyed and more concerned now. "You normally fall asleep by 10."
"C-can we talk?" My voice trembles on every word.
No, I don't want to tell him what's on my mind. But I have to. I have to get this off my chest; my heart can't take this agony much longer.
He nods, gesturing for me to come in.
I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. My legs are jelly. Maybe I'll pass out; my cheeks are burning.
Ismus sits on the edge of his bed.
He signals for me to sit next to him, but my body stays staring. "What's wrong?" He asks. "You're shaking. Did something happen at school?"
"N-no..."I shake my head.
He frowns. "Then what is it?"
I take a deep breath.
Can I really do this? Now’s my chance to finally do it. For months, I've kept this inside; for months, I've had knots in my stomach. If I don't do it now I never will. But...
Could I handle the disappointment?
If there was a sad look in his eye? After all this time, am I really going to be free? if he doesn't feel the same way, I don't know if I could face him again.
"Roselyn?" Ismus is worried now. "What's Going on?"
His eyes beg for me to tell them. "You're scaring me."
Again, I take a deep breath. "Ismus."
My voice is more confident now. "There's something I have to tell you, something I've had on my mind since the day we met."
"What is it?"
I lick my lips and swallow.
"I like you."
Ismus' eyes widen.
My heart slams into my chest. My fingers are numb, tingling with pain. Why don't I feel any better? I finally told him how I've felt.
And after months of heartache and wondering,
somehow, I feel worse.
Silence sits between us.
My nerves get more jittery as each second passes. Why hasn't he responded?
"S-sorry," I stammer.
My gaze falls to the floor. "I-I thought you might not feel the same way." I clutch my heart, trying to hold back the tears.
"Is that true, Roselyn. Do you like me?"
He says a minute later.
"I'm just as shocked as you are." I can't pull my eyes up.
"At first, I couldn't explain it. I just liked being with you. Obviously, it's more than that. I can't get you out of my head. I-I had to tell you..." I snivel. Don't you dare cry.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"What for?" The bed creaks as Ismus stands. I force myself to meet his gaze. He takes a step toward me. Surprisingly, Ismus is smiling. He shows no signs of anger or disgust.
"I-isn't it weird to hear that from me?"
It's like what I said didn't faze him at all.
He shakes his head. "Not at all."
He takes another step toward me. He's right in front of me now. Our toes are inches apart. I can smell his cologne, the scent that makes my mind go blank; all I can think about is how close he is
"Roselyn." Ismus places his hand in my cheek
Sparks surge through my skin. They're so soft and warm. His touch is electric.
"I wish I could say I liked you back, I really do. But..." his voice trails off.
My heart sinks to my stomach. I feel sick.
I'm going to throw up a million tiny pieces all over his floor. I knew it...I knew he didn't like me back. I mean, how could he ever like someone like me?
I'm no beauty queen.
My hair is messy and always stands up on end. I prefer pathetic shorts to dresses and skirts and converse to heels. I'm quiet and keep to myself, not outgoing like other girls.
The girl he recently broke up with was a cheerleader.
Tall, blond, tan, and gorgeous; everything I'm not. I was a fool to think he'd like a plain girl like me.
"Y-yeah..." my mind is numb.
. "T-that's fine...I didn’t expect you to like me back..." my voice doesn't help hide the fact that my heart is literally breaking. I sound as if I'm on the verge of tears.
"Of course, I don't like you, Roselyn."
Rubbing salt in the wound much? He tilts my head so his eyes are looking directly into mine.
"I love you."
Before my mind can process it, his lips are pressed against mine. My first kiss, and with my first love too. My body feels like it's been electrocuted. But the pain is replaced with pleasure.
Something I've never felt before.
Ismus pulls away grinning as I stand there dumbfound.
He laughs, pulling me into a hug. "I'm so glad you told me." He tells me.
"I was getting worried." He pulls me into a hug.
"I'm relieved. The girl I love actually loves me back for once."