I've been up all night
I've been up for days
I showered, I went to class. I walked around the school for a while before I went outside.
I sat on the bench and looked at the people. I looked at the sky like I do every time I sit here.
I took my time finishing the cigarette, not ready to stand up and move towards the rest of my day.
Turned the corner, reached for the door handle but it was already being pushed open.
It was him.
it was you.
Our eyes passed over each other like glass. Neither of us stumbled. Stopped. Flinched. We were strangers.
I rushed inside to catch my breath. Istood on the inside looking through the window to see if you were going to stand by the bench I had just left
I was thankful that I had finished my cigarette and escaped when I did.
But you didn't turn the corner. I walked back outside and sat on a different bench. No cigarette this time. I needed air.
I saw your figure on the passing bus.
I played those seconds over in my mind. Happy to have seen you. Just the sight of you electrified me. I thought it was a good sign. Fate that we had passed.
My day continued. I only wondered what you thought of me.
The night fell and I'm tucked in my bed at home surrounded by things of my past. Old paintings, products and books.
Should I be offended?
I have become what I never wanted to be. A stranger to you. It's worse than being nothing to you because in order to be nothing I would be somebody to you. Someone to try to ignore.
But you didn't notice me. Your stride didn't stop. Your eyes didn't lock on mine with a silent "oh".
Nothing. Dead. Gone.
Forgotten like the cigarette I had on the bench.
This is the last time I will write about you.