Over the two first months of the semester, replimenting the naked tree trunks dressing
grounds in gold crisps and scarlet handkerchiefs, my days were smoothened
out by tiny alternations on the decibel of her dark blue mp3 and funny as it sounds I felt
like I was breathing spring in the middle of fall but you might say obviously?!
No, I didn't depict my swaying in the wind
like happiness more like serenity, brushing past my ears, dipping under my sleeves,
unbuttoning my sweatshirt, sweeping my shoelaces, pampering my overgrown hair
and ruffling the collar of my flannel as if freedom took a heavy dive from the sky
down to my open palm replenishing my
days with a few giggles to entertain the existence of facial expressions.
She was most days unchanged, no hint of alienation was making her look more sad
or excited aside of the switching pimple bubbles but her words were no less piercing than the first time we made eye
contact and I guess I liked that, Amorella was a cultivated spirit, free in how chained to
reality her looks were but not her soul so
the contradiction was refreshing and challenging to pen down simultaneously.
Her voice would twig my name jokingly, tickling the most untouched part of me,
my identity, chirping as if she was all those girls chasing me: 'ShiN, oh ShINleAF has your heart grown to picture
me inside it's pumping pockets yet' she would squirm at me and I would get madly annoyed but it was cute too.
It was a surprise thought why did she call me 'Shin', everyone would call me Ken
instead so when I asked her she would respond nonchalantly:
'Shin is an important part of our bodies which let's us walk, Ken is just a doll but you're the real thing so act
like the shin you are and walk out of everyone's grip' but then she would laugh or brush her
words off as if they meant nothing but more importantly what was that: 'the real thing',
needless to say I felt embarrassed at how greatly she would describe me,
it made me feel a bit special.
Things switched gears, exams were hectic and the weather was foolishly whipping it's tears on my blooming garden
making it impossible for us to meet as frequently to which my only chance was to ask her
number but I was shy?!
I know, we are friends... I guess so that shouldn't be too hard but I could never find a chance
to talk to her without anyone seeing us, I still felt sensitive about people knowing
about our... interactions so I was quite surprised when she made the first move and bumped
into me before we entered the music class handing me tactfully a note with her phone number and
emojis on it ':-) 8-)' which was rather clever but then I started overthinking what to write so I didn't.
Three days passed before she reached to me saying in text: 'You don't have to be shy,
just talk like you always do. So how are doing Shiiiin?' to which I was obliviously rambling,
I was not shy of course, I was preparing her a good meme so I was searching thoroughly,
at the time I couldn't confine in her the immense gratitude her little push gave
me to be myself.
A roller-coaster of events unfolded, texting was fun I guess but I couldn't really see her reaction so that
was kind of a drawback, we used to talk all through nighttime, writing random words and making nonessential
story lines which were hilariously terrible, listen to music she would send and fall
asleep teary from cracking up.
Almost three weeks since we last hanged out in the rooftop I thought of initiating first
for once so I sent her a voice call saying: 'Good night you goofball, Amoreeeella the
cute earphone alien' so yeah, it was pretty ordinary and short message to which I expected
her to cackle up but she didn't reply and left me on read, a very weird reaction.
Impatience drove me to her desk the next
day when the music lesson was over and we were packing our bags so knowing that
there was no one around I pulled my clown face and walked to her grinning only to
be met with her lowered posture, shrugging while avoiding my eye contact making me
even more perplexed so I grabbed her shoulders in order to make her face me but what I saw was worrisome to say the least,
the red pigment on her cheeks and her avoidant panic made me lose it, she was blushing.
Frozen in place, my heartbeat was
thumping but I couldn't stop it until her trembling voice reached my ears: 'The
voice message was lovely but it felt strange, like it was meant to pat my head to sleep
and kiss my cheeks goodreams. I know I
sound exaggerated but it tingled a warm sensations on my chest. I apologise for making you worry over...' ,
I had to stop her, there was no way I was going to let her finish that sentence so I hugged her
in reflex and said: ' It's my fault for springing out of the
blue but I will stop if you don't lik...' but this time she stopped me whispering while
holding my chest: 'It just felt strange but I liked it more than texting so next I'll voice message you too'.
Realisation strikes me sober, I was
squeezing her all this time, panicked I back away only to be met with her pinkish
cheeks smiling dandily with glitter droplet on her eyes making me flustered brain dead on steam
what is this girl doing to me?
If I only knew what was going to happen next...