The Walk Back
The Walk Back conflict stories
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fundead
fundeadDouble meanings are my life
Autoplay OFF  •  7 months ago
Disgusted by my own gender, yet driven by it all the same. A conflict I can never resolve.

Written on the fly while drunk, so excuse the nonsense.

The Walk Back

Disgust and lust.

Disgust and lust. At the same time.

Disgust and lust. At the same time. My own gender sickens me.

But at the same time, the abyss of my mind cant help but contemplate all the ways I would ravish you.

But at the same time, the abyss of my mind cant help but contemplate all the ways I would ravish you. I would devour you.

Nobody deserves to be made to feel so terrible.

Nobody deserves to be made to feel so terrible. Everyone deserves to be made to feel desirable.

I keep walking. That's all i can do. My body escapes me, but my mind is sharp.

I trip on small elevations in the sidewalk. I stumble when I try to negotiate a curb.

My disgust at my own nature continues.

I walk by a cemetery. I consider jumping in. Instead, I sit on a bench and contemplate how lucky the dead are.

I finally muster the courage to spend time with my friends.

Antoine. 60 years old. Died 1922. Thomas. 71 years old. Died 1961. Dearborn. Edwards. Jenkins. Knowlton.

Were they honorable men? Or were they men that took advantage, like the many I have seen on the streets tonight.

I clamber back over the fence to get out, and continue my walk.

Finally.

Two men that deserve their place on this earth. They are working hard. They aren't out, gallivanting, making women feel terrible. They are doing something simple, something noble.

They are making people food to eat. I end the night, enjoying the fruits of their labor.

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