Jack took a deep breath of the cool mountain air, he knew roughly where he was. The Rocky mountains somewhere in Wyoming.
He had seen a picture online of where he was now and just decided to be there.
He sat on the cold grass legs crossed and tried not to think about the way his family had looked at him that last time.
He knew he was hurting them, but that was the point; a small hurt now to avoid a bigger hurt later. The sun was rising bathing the snowy mountains in a pinkish light.
All around him the birds were waking up, the dawn chorus was raucous and loud in this place, uninterrupted by human sound and that was fine.
No one for him to hurt here, no one to disappoint either and no one to tell him who he should be.
He tipped his head to the rising sun grateful for the warmth Castiel would like this place, the traitorous thought caught him off guard and brought a wave of loneliness with it.
Jack felt pressure building in his chest, it came out as a half sob as he remembered the way the bank guard’s head had smashed against the concrete pillar.
They are better off without me he told himself, that didn’t stop the tears, if anything it made him feel worse.
He drew up his knees and hugged his legs tightly, wishing the heavy sick feeling would go away. I want to go home, to the bunker to Castiel, Sam and Dean.
Dean who despite everything always told him the truth, Sam who seemed to love teaching him things and Castiel who loved him like a son.
He couldn’t go home though, he couldn’t take the chance that he would hurt them.
What if he hurt Castiel?, what would it do to Dean if he lost him again? The change in Dean had amazed Jack, Castiel inexplicably alive again had brought the hunter back to life too.
Jack knew he was still too new to understand many things, but he knew love when he saw it.
He steeled himself, he would stay away until he learned to control his powers and if he couldn’t- I’ll stay away for ever.
As he made that decision he felt his power try to flare, he grappled with it forced it back down. No! he told it forcefully, I will use you, you will not use me.
The feeling died away and Jack smiled to himself, small victories. A thought struck him he couldn’t go home, but he could still help Sam at least. He could try to get Mary back, make amends.
He had no idea how to even start I’ll find out, I’ll make them proud of me.
He stood up feeling his wings stretch in anticipation, wings that flared bright gold with one thought and carried him away with the next.