I awoke to the sound of someone banging on my door.
"Rose, get up we have to go," Sam says impatiently.
Sweat is dripping down my forehead, I wipe it away quickly.
"I'm not going!" I shout as I pull the covers over my head, wanting to hide from practically the world.
"Catherine's going to be mad," she responds, letting out a heavy sigh before walking away. I hear her door close from the next room over.
She knew it would be no use to persuade me to go to school after last night.
I grumble, trying to get the faint familiarity of the dream out of my head. I push back the tears that well up in my eyes. I lay back, trying to regain my composure.
I sigh and get out of bed, dragging my feet against my dark purple carpet as I make my way to my laptop. I collapse down in the wooden chair and fire it up.
I look over at my cell phone; 12 new texts. None are important, except one from my best friend Jess.
Yeah, I'm up now. I can't remember much from last night.
I press the send button.
My laptop screen glows brightly.
"Finally," I scoff as I skim through my music list. Nothing I see interests me, to be honest.
After what seems like several moments, I slow down after I came across Saosin.
"Perfect," I grin.
Buzz buzz comes from my phone, Jess is calling.
I press accept, "Hola?"
"Last night was crazy," she says in her usual upbeat tone.
"I don't remember much like I told you," I murmur, rubbing my temples as my head starts throbbing.
"The last thing I remember is being with you and talking to Jane, we were doing shots, I think it was around 11."
"Oh my god, there's so much you don't remember. You don't remember the pics?" she asks, her voice growing lower with each word.
"What pictures?" I ask, suddenly horrified.
"Dave kind of…" she pauses, "took pictures of you topless."
"What the fuck, Jess!" I shout, my body tingling from the sudden realization that there were unwanted pictures of me.
My mind trails back, me naked I think in aggravation.
"You were completely out of your mind drunk; there was nothing I could do. You wouldn't listen to me or anything." She explains quickly, defending herself. "I told you not to go with him."
I put my head on my desk, this throbbing headache making me nauseated, "I know it's not your fault, I'm just mad."
"I would be mad too," she says gently.
"How many people have seen them?"
"Just tell me," I insist, tears pooling in my eyes.
"I'm not sure, but you know how guys can be," she says directly.
"Fuck, Jess. Now everyone's going to think I'm some slut"
"I don't think anyone thinks that you were just drunk," she says softly. I know she was trying to make me feel better, but it wasn't helping.
"I don't know what I'm going to do, because I'm already known as the new kid, now this."
"I wouldn't worry about it too much, I'm sure someone will do something within the week and take the attention off you," she reassures me.
I don't feel much better but hopefully, she was right. I could hear the school bell over the phone.
"Alright Rose, I have to go to class. I hope you feel better. I'll see you tonight, right?" she asks.
"Thanks and yeah, pick me up around ten," I say picking my head up off the desk, the room spinning around me.
"Okay, see ya," she says before hanging up.
I set my phone down next to my laptop and stand up, walking over to my closet. I pull out some clean clothes, comfy black sweatpants, and a purple sweater.
I sigh and walk out of my room to the bathroom, switching on the light as I walk in.
It takes a moment to turn on, I reach back and unhook my necklace and place it on the sink next to my towel before turning on the water in the shower.
My clothes fall to the floor as I cover my bits while looking in the mirror at myself; my black and light pink hair in a rats nest tied on the top on my head,
my eyes look sunken in from the lack of sleep, makeup smudged around them from the night before.
I run my hands over my ribs that are become more and more noticeable with the passing days, my hips bones protrude as I move side to side. I make a disgusted face before turning away.
I let the water heat up before stepping in. I left out a sigh as the hot water runs down my face and body.
I lather up some soap between my hands and get to work on making myself look presentable for tonight's festivities.
Not smelling like the remnants of the party last night, I plop back down into my chair and start up one of my favorite games.
The hours go by as I press down on the keys repeatedly; by the time my stomach starts growling it was noon already.
I know Aunt Catherine was up by now and she would be livid with me skipping school. I tiptoe down the carpeted stairs to find her in the kitchen watching the news.
"So, why didn't you go to school? Too much partying last night?" she asks before I even get the last step.
"I'm sick," I lie; I know she won't believe it but say it anyway.
She chuckles, "Sam already told me you went out last night, she's worried about you and so am I." She mutes the TV before continuing.
"You've been getting worse every week that goes by; maybe you should go talk to someone."
"I'm fine," I sigh, grabbing the milk out of the fridge.
"Well, if you decide you want help just let me know," she says, unmuting the TV. I went back to making my lunch. My headache seems to have subsided.
"Can you believe this more murders," Catherine says, watching the TV attentively. "Hopefully they catch them soon; it's getting closer and closer to us."
Hearing some of the news, I say, "Yeah it's happening a few towns away."
"I don't want you going out late anymore, Rose. I don't want to take any chances," she says with worry in her eyes.
"Alright, alright," I lie, knowing I was going out the very night.
"I just want you safe, and I know your mom would want that too."
I sigh, an overwhelming pain in my chest. The thought of my mother still haunts me; from that day I'd never be the same.
It started like any other normal day, like all the others; Sam and I went to school. We both stayed after; I worked on my article for the school paper and Sam stayed for volleyball.
Eventually, around 5 pm, Sam drove us home.
When we got there it was strange not to find our mom's car in the driveway, but a few moments later Sam got a text from her saying she worked late and is on her way now.
We thought it would be nice if we cooked dinner for once. Sam was mashing the potatoes when there was a knock on the door.
"Did you invite someone over," I chuckled, reaching for the door handle; knowing mom wouldn't knock.
"Nope," she shrugged. There stood two police officers on our porch. Sam burst into tears as they told us the news about our mother; I grabbed ahold of my sister in sheer shock.
They said the roads were slick because of all the rain we've been getting and they believe an animal jumped in front of her causing her to veer off the road and the car flipped many times as
it rolled down the embankment. Being a highway, she had to be going at least 60mph, she died immediately.
I clutch the silver engraved locket around my neck; identical to the one Sam has that our mother gave us for our birthday.
"Are you alright?" Catherine asks, concern written on her face.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I shake my head, getting the bad thoughts out. "I'll be up in my room."
"Okay, love you…" She watches as I stumble up the stairs with my cereal.
I make it to my room and shut the door behind me. I put the bowl of cereal on my desk and fall onto my bed, I curl up in pain.
I never let anyone know how much pain I'm actually in, emotional and physical pain.
My chest tightens and makes it had to breathe, tears roll down my cheeks as I thought about my mom and how much I miss her.
She was my best friend, I could tell her anything; I was closer to her than anyone. She always knew how to make me laugh, she had the funniest jokes.
She wasn't the perfect person, she always said; but I know one thing; she was the perfect mother. So caring and loving; she always had a smile on her face no matter what was happening.
Why did we have to lose both our parents? First, our dad when we were three years old and now our mother…
It isn't fair.
I brush the tears off my face and roll over, opening the nightstand drawer. I pulled out the last picture taken of us; my mother with me on her lap, her eyes exhausted her hair in a messy bun.
My father was holding Sam with a big smile on his face, the proud father. And Sam and I, twins; Sam was crying because I was being a little brat and hitting her in the face.
What a beautiful last picture.
I don't remember my dad much but my mom always said he was a good man. I knew she missed him a lot because she never dated after he passed.
Before I know it, my eyes drift shut; the tears trapped, running down slowly down my cheeks.