My first memory of you was of playing Sonic the Hedgehog on the PS2. You, me, and dad, all playing together.
My second memory is watching you play Tomba and then get Frustrated and start playing Spyro.
I remember going to Krispy Kreme with dad and you giving us free donuts while working.
I remember watching you Play WoW and Oblivion. Teaching me about the game while you played. I still love those games because of you.
I remember your attempts to make crazy extravagant meals and then burning them on accident and then just making something easy.
I remeber you doting on me when it seemed like I got chicken pox and it turned out I was just having an allergic reaction to flea bites.
I remember you doting on me the same way when I broke my leg. Making sure I wasn't walking all over the house, giving me the leap frog game system to play. Bringing me food and drinks.
I remember the woman you once were. Where did she go? Where did it go wrong? You were a great mom back then. What happened?
As much as I want to find it in my heart to hate you, I can't. You're still my mom. I hope one day you can find yourself again and we can have a family relationship again. Because I miss my mom.
And I'd like this festering pain and anger to stop tainting the good memories I have of you.
Chaz. Mom. Please. Find yourself and come find me. I want my mom back.