You want me not to hate you,
To despise you every day,
You desire my friendship,
Even though you threw my care away.
You reap hatred where you go,
And soon enough you can only sow,
Reap what you sow and regret it all,
And watch as you begin to fall.
You're like the true reaper,
Ending all that begins,
You drive everyone away,
You drove away my grin.
You're a fool on borrowed time,
Like a burning plane about to crash,
You hurt others and cut deep while you zap the wound with lime,
And soon enough you'll fall apart and leave nothing but ash.
You asked me to be yours, I reluctantly agreed,
I said I was no toy,
But yet you still decreed,
That you and I were over,
You didn't care about this boy.
What did I tell you?
I said I was not to be trifled with.
But you decided I was expendable.
Your friendship almost could not be missed.
You obliterate yourself with drugs and booze alike,
You hurt yourself and others too,
Drew blood from self but cut deep into others emotions.
You drive us away, but ask us to stay,
I understand nothing about you,
Why you destroy yourself like paper in a flame,
I don't want to hate you,
But you left upon me a stain.
I can't discard the stain you left on me,
Because the stain you left reminds me that I'm free.
I'm sorry If I hurt you,
Or if I disgusted you with what I was,
But I can only be me.
You asked me to tell you if I don't hate you,
I did, and you replied that you wanted to rate those who don't,
What are we to you? Just numbers and people or your friends who care for you life?
You labeled me with a number, said no offense because of the low rating,
It hurts to know that I'm just that low, I question why were we dating?
Did you just pity me? See me as a toy and nothing more?
Or did you mean it when you told me that you wanted us to work?
I showed you only affection,
But you repaid me with deflection.
Did I really mean so little to you that you could just walk away?
I only ask because I'd like to know if you only feel regret,
Because I regret nothing.
I never lied when I said I cared.
But you decided to run away simply because you were scared.
I'm sorry I can't love you,
That I can't fix you like I wish.
I'm not sorry though, about the things that I have said.
You simply ran away and hid from me and words that I left swirling in your head.
I'm done being a saviour, I'm no hero in your book, I simply, am a footnote, I denote no story in yours. So again I'll say I'm sorry, for not being worth enough to you to keep.
But apparently you seem to think that who I am is just skin deep. But I am more than the sum of my parts,
And you can't see that,
You cannot see my art. You care not for my poems nor my words.
So reap what you have sown my dear, loss of me and these very words.