advenire sacrifice stories
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erenahthe consolation of verbosity
Autoplay OFF  •  2 years ago
things I do like about Christmas: the scent of pine needles
some carols
fairy lights


by erenah

it has now been posited

that the Star of Bethlehem, shining for days to lead men wise and artless to the birth of God

was actually a supernova

that is to say, a dying

thus are the revolutions of the universe

I don't want to "go home" for Christmas because I don't have one to go home to

still, I will see my mother until she falls asleep

when I can quietly slip back out of the state-funded hospital where she has been living sectioned since 2014

I will eat a meal with my father at his council flat

navigating his tides of reclusive paranoia with a diplomacy that will subsequently exhaust my reserves of civility

such that, when I go stay at my brother's

whom I love most, but for whom my presence evokes memories better left alone

he will become ill at ease to have me too long

in the wholesome family environment he was finally able to win for himself -

a grounding, down to earth wife; two beautiful small children

I will travel twelve hours buy gifts, and wish

for the courage and perseverance I need

to make it through another Christmas

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