What now?

emilyyy19Bread and cartoon enthusiast
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
These are the feeling that I enjoy. These are the feelings that are practically killing me. Someone has to know.

What now?

by emilyyy19

The best three years of my life.

The two of us would walk around our quaint little town, laughing about the stupid things people tend to do. Sometimes we'd just watch TV or bake together. These were the good times.

The most confusing three years of my life.

Their actions, their facial expression, everything about them confused me. I felt the compelling need to figure out what's happening. Is something wrong? Did I do something? What's happening?

The saddest three years of my life

The person I cared for most was hurt. They'd pour their emotions to me, and I read things that I wasn't prepared for. The self harm, the confusion. Is there something I can do to help? I'm here.

The most thought provoking years of my life

They told they were queer. And I was happy that they came out. They came out as pan sexual. I was happy. It made me think about me. I came out as pan too. This helped me realize who I was.

The most frustrating three years of my life.

I love them. I want to spend the rest of my life with them. I want to experience everything again. But they don't know this, of course. If they did, it would ruin everything, right? What do I do?

It's been almost four years.

I've experienced so much. I've learned things. I've cried my eyes out and I've laughed until my stomach hurt. And throughout all of this, I've realized how much you mean to me. I'm left in a daze

So, tell me...

What now?

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This was beautiful written. The emotional undercurrent was well expressed. The free verse has some interesting notes in that it has some internal rhyming. I don't know if you meant to but you did and it contributed to the easy flowing quality of the poem. The honesty and self-examination were stellar. There are others who maybe pansexual and they are reading this. You are courageously telling them it is OK, part of their humanity. This was an honest and courageous tale.

lisaSilver CommaCats
a year agoReply
wow. thank you for being open and sharing this. i know it must be hard, but you are brave and amazing!