I sort through the old cardboard box. My entire childhood is in here, and I need to selectively choose what still matters. I frown. This doesn't feel right. I pause, and find an old sticker.
That can go. If I only remove the bare minimum, it will be fine. I plant my hand in the sea of memories, wondering what treasure I would come into contact with.
I find a piece of paper, and pull it out. It's yellowed, and some of the writing has faded, but other than that, it's fine. It's just a piece of paper, it can go.
Out of curiosity, I read the paper. It can't hurt me, I'll still throw it out.
Do you remember when you said you loved me? I remember it like it happened yesterday, even though it happened forever ago.
I had never had feelings like that returned before, but my anxieties ruin it. They say that you were joking. My hope says that you were serious. Do you know who was right?
Do you remember when I asked whether you were joking? I didn't get to hear your answer, but I am more than willing to admit that was either the bravest or the stupidest thing I've ever done.
I was a different person then. A lot has changed. You were a big part of that. Did I ever tell you that?
Do you remember when you and I held hands? I remember the feeling of your hands like they had just touched. I remember how your hands were warm and perfect.
My unbiased opinion, but your hands are the most beautiful things I have ever felt. I have never desired physical contact before, but I want to hold your hand again.
Do you remember when you had every opportunity to embarrass me, but you didn't? When everyone wanted to know who I loved, you were right there. So many would have said something, but you didn't.
It could have been to save yourself from embarrassment, but you had put yourself in opportunities like this to embarrass yourself in front of me and had taken them.
I know that if you had said that you knew it was you, then I would have felt ruined. I don't think I ever thanked you for that. Anyway, thank you.
I know you'll never read this, but I just want you to know that whatever happens, wherever you go, whoever you love, I be there for you. I'll support you. You would do the same.
Soon we might go seperate ways, and that's fine.
I'll think of you constantly, and if you turn into nothing more than a fizzled flame, then I'll just occasionally think of you, and hope you are doing fine.
Good luck out there in the real world. Trust me, you need that advice more than me, and I need it a lot.
I smile weakly. The memories flood back. The memories that make me happy, the memories that make me sad, there is no filter anymore. I break down in an ocean of tears.
I didn't end up sending the letter after all. That's fine. Charlie had already received the message.