~Scared Because I’m Damaged~

I didn’t ask for this.

I never had a choice.

From the beginning,

My mother,

Giving up her newborn.

Me.

Abandoned.

No reason,

No answers,

Not even a picture.

Only a name,

Nothing else.

That’s just the beginning.

Then came my new family,

Taking me to my new home.

Only a little girl.

Growing up with hopes and dreams,

Like every other child

But only to be deceived.

As time went by,

And I was growing.

Still so young

Witnessing things I shouldn’t have.

Not understanding what went on.

Vague memories,

Watching my mom and dad yelling at each other.

Always arguing.

It only got worse.

The physical violence began,

And only seemed to continue.

In 6th grade,

My life took a drastic turn

That would affect me

For the rest of my life.

Unknowingly, I was hooked

And wouldn’t be able to get back out.

Like taking drugs,

I wasn’t going to stop.

I said it was only a diet

But slowly,

I ate less and less each day

And exercised more and more.

That is the beginning of

My eating disorder.

To be continued...