The earth was growling at me,
A low and guttural warning,
As I laid on the precipice
Of desiring death and begging
For relief from the crimping pain
That vacuumed my head like it was
Sucking my soul through the hair follicles
At the base of my neck.
I dreamed of the worst possible circumstances--
All my fears come to life
In an alternate reality that may one day keep me
When I become too tired to fight it.
Is it going to eat me? Chew me like a rawhide?
Make me feel every munch and chomp,
Every tear and claw,
Every shred, every dead cell
As it flakes off of my body?
Will it swallow every thought I have?
There's a psychosomatic grab at my trapezoid muscles,
And I feel like I'm a dead pig hanging
From a meat hook in a freezer.
But what if I were a wild, burly boar
With a hunger so large
I could rip apart your yard
In the dark, quietly grunting night--
Digesting everyone's appetites!
My tusks that cannot stop growing--
Inseverable--I was born with weapons
Attached to me!
The destruction is inevitable
Because I own the world when everyone else sleeps.
I whet the soil you walk upon,
Grubbing up the dirt to feed.
Oh, maybe what I'm hearing
When the ground is guzzling me
Is the machine inside--
The engine that's done sputtering--
that my shoulders can no longer hide.
Nature's monster revving within--
Surround-sound! Stirring me with a headache
As my chest tries to tamp the vibrations down.
But here I am--awake and bristling.
In the witching hour--A voracious sow,
Desperate, angry, and free to roam.
And that dark, cold, rumbling earth?
Well . . . it was just welcoming me home.