for you

I miss you.

I miss you and I hate myself for missing you.

I care about you.

I want you.

But I don’t need you, not one bit.

But I feel that I do.

I hate that the mere thought of you makes me feel that I need you.

I hate that you make me feel so weak and vulnerable.

But I also love that you’re the first and the only one to make me feel so helpless.

I know I don’t need you.

I’ll live without you.

I’ll succeed without you.

I’ll find happiness without you.

I’ll grow without you.

I’ll find love without you.

But with my stubborn heart, despite what my mind says and what the wiser side of my conscience says,

I still nonetheless want you.

So. Fucking. Bad.

I just need to know if this goes both ways.

If you just say yes, I’ll wait.

If you need me to be patient with you.

If you need me to wait for you.

If you need me to grow into my best self for you.

If you need me to be vulnerable.

If you need space.

If you need time.

For you,

I will do it for you.

Everything for you.