the rhythm of my skin feels so forced
when they're looking
and even when they're not
It feels so hard to be something i'm not
the words to my song feels so calculated
I've always been terrified of not being appreciated
but what happens when they do?
will it make me full?
will it finally make me feel cool?
the schedule changes due to ones who do not care
I expect everyone to understand what I choose to bare
but what will happen if they do?
will they honor me with a chair?
on that table I don't even want to stare
If I become the joke that I don't even laugh at
Is it going to be worth it in the end?
when I look into the clear water and don't see myself
when there's nothing left but a robotic reflex
to run as fast as I can when they call my name
to be an aide just to prove that I can get there
what will I confront when I don't want to stay?
why can't I just let the symphony flow?
and see how it goes?
maybe things will get better If let go of the control
because I'm just too exhausted to even discover
new ways to finally earn approval
so let the rain pour
let the stars align on their own
the world won't disintegrate If I leave it alone
maybe I'll find my chance when I refuse to be clone