How do you recognize someone with a "High functioning depression"
why is it called that way?
why do people have it?
why do I have it?
I ... hate to have it
it's called that way because those people are depressed, often constantly but still manage to live their life.
others don't notice it because they can do their jobs like any other.
or deal with people pretty normally.
some even don't realize themself that they have it because they just think:
"Yeah I'm just down again." which can be true.
but people with it have it for a Loooooong time
mostly for multiple years,
or decades even.
I have depression since my earliest childhood
always asking questions no one could answer.
always bullied by everybody for no reason.
I wanted to kill everybody including me.
I wanted to show them how much actual meaning this world has.
Not a single one.
I wanted to die because of that a long time ago.
but I always managed to back up because...
there always was someone I could help
someone I hoped would miss me
and yet nothing I ever thought
nothing I ever felt ...
all the sadness
they all stayed
never leaving me alone.
I have times where I don't think about them,
times where I am "HAPPY".
cause everything in my free time
IS MEANT TO DISTRACT ME FROM IT.
TO KEEP THOSE THOUGHTS AWAY
TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD AT SOME POINT
TO MAKE ME
AT SOME POINT.
TO MAKE ME STOP
TO FEEL EMPTY
ALL THE TIME
FOR JUST ONE SECOND
what does that have to do with High functioning depression?
I am 24 at the moment. 25 soon.
and I am like this since kindergarten.
since "Highschool" barely anyone noticed.
barely anyone seemed to care.
seem to realize.
I started to write things like this because I realized
denying it makes things worse
makes you fake.
be FUCKING honest to yourself and say how you feel.
don't brag about it and try to get attention.
just say honestly how you feel.
THEY DON'T NEED to understand you.
YOU NEED to understand you.
cause you are your own.
And even if I know that there is no reason at all for us to be.
To even exist.
I also know
WE MAKE OUR OWN REASONS.
and we don't need to be understood if we manage to get along with others.
and even if you don't.
there are people who can understand you
who can get along with you
And if you feel Depressed like me,
all the time.
so much or often that you just feel numb.
then I'll greet you
with open arms
"Welcome to the Void"