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dr4pos
dr4pos Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   10 months ago
Nothing to see here. just my mind threatening me again

LOCKED

it can have many varieties.

a Breakdown

sometimes you can get violent

sometimes you can get silent

sometimes you scream

and sometimes you cry

it's not easy to deal with one.

I hope for you that you will have someone that understands

feeling under pressure while that is the worst.

having no one to open up to is painful

having to hide it is torture.

its can be caused by little things

worthless nitpicks

things you were aware of

things you accepted

things were you thought:

That this ain't get me mad.

I was asked some things

things I were aware of

things I told myself

things I

planned

but still, I began to pull my own hair

wanted to break everything

started hitting myself.

wanted to smash my head.

for nothing.

and then

I remained still.

for ten minutes.

empty

not the usual void

more like

everything

everything I know

is neglecting me

my thoughts

my emotions

my reasoning

my mind

my friends

my hobbies

my connections

my

everything

I was locked in this position I was in

my arms pressed against my head

bend down

I don't know how I got out

I don't know how I managed to move

I don't know how I

...

Was

I did the things which were bothering me

I did the things I was told to do

but then I fled

into my room

where no one can see me

and cried

...

I don't know why

I don't know how long

I know I caught myself

and remained unnoticed

waiting till my eyes turned to normal

waiting till someone will ask for me

I

Again

wanted to destroy everything before

including myself

especially myself

and was a prisoner of my own mind

represented physically

...

I don't want to bother anyone

I don't want anyone to suffer

I don't want anyone to be worried about me

but I'm honest as much as I can be

I just want to end it

so no one will ever be worried about me

FOREVER

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